Life Beneath The Words At Play

Poisonous attraction

I want to drain my heart of blood and pump it back up with gasoline just to set it on fire again.
I know it'll feel the same as when you were in love with me.

I want a refill of your love in a barrel full of toxic waste.
I don't care where it comes from, what it means, or how you truly feel.

I just need a dose to fall back asleep. Otherwise, I'll remember me.

Looking into the mirror,
I wonder what you see in her.
You call her pretty and the most beautiful girl you've been with.

How would I know if it's a lie or not even if you never tell me the truth and hide another girl under the bed expecting me to not see her
heels sticking out and her clothes scattered on the floor.

Is she as pretty as me,
or am I still your favorite?

Will you still let me forgive you
and pretend to move on
and love me better now
that you've made a mistake
just as you did
when you last slipped?

I hope you'll forgive me
for letting you leave.
Please just don't leave me
this time.

I promise I won't discover her hiding in the closet
or upstairs bathroom again.
I'll let you have her as you wish.

All I ask you is you tell me repeatedly about your attraction
to me. Tell me I'm the
living embodiment of beauty.

Let me offer you a hand as you slip on a silver ring with a big blue dimond and your name engraved on the outside to let others know where you belong.

Rename me Aphrodite and
crown me goddess.
Worship me
to the point that
I'm all that you can think of.

When you're with her,
picture my face plastered over hers. Don't forget me
even if you don't want me.

Don't leave me,
even if you won't have me.
I'll let you have her
if only you'll keep me.

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This poem is just about wanting validation when you find it in the wrong person because you're insecure. I was watching TikTok or something and saw a woman who was dating a guy in jail and he was calling her beautiful and what not and that was all she could talk about was that he called her beautiful. She used to be against dating prisoners, that was  until he made her feel "special" and beautiful. It's a sad reality that many people end up in when they're insecure about their looks. That's why you should always focus on yourself first before you enter a RED flag relationship. By the way, her boyfriend was in jail for murder and assault if anyone was curious.