Crime, Betrayal, and Love (A Seventeen Street Racing AU)

LXXVIII | Grief

My tears have long stopped. My body empty of tears. The empty pang in my heart hurts the same—if not more now. Minghao still holds me in his arms, but I can't find comfort in the embrace. Though, for the first time, it's not his fault, the fact that he is Minghao that brings no relief. Nothing can make this pain easier. I doubt I'll get over it. This pain will last a lifetime. The guilt will follow me into my own grave and likely beyond that.

I'm sure Jisoo's tear reserve has dried up as well, though she still sniffles, her body shuddering with each pained gasp.

Monsta X has huddled together, moving to sit on the ground. They stay silent, however, staring at each other or at the ground.

A sob racks Jooheon, finally broken from his statue-ness. He looks absolutely broken. Almost as bad as Jisoo.

"Y/N," Minghao whispers in my ear. "Are you ready to go?"

The familiar ache of hate I usually direct towards Minghao strikes again. How dare he ask that? I'll never be ready. But the hate quickly sizzles out as he pulls me closer and squeezes softly.

"Sorry. Too soon."

I hate how he can read me so well, and I hate how my arms lift, shaking and weak to wrap around him as well. I'm not alone. It's funny that he's the one here to help me. If only he hadn't been the one to leave me so many years ago. I wonder what my life would be like then. What Jisoo's would have been like. Changkyun's. Maybe he'd still be breathing right now. Perhaps, if he hadn't been a backstabbing bitch in his adolescence, Minghao and I could have become something bigger than two teens stealing to live.

A firm knock racks the door, shaking it.

Minghao let's go of me, and my body is suddenly wrapped in cold. Maybe he was doing something to lift my pain, making this just a millimeter easier. At least he was warm. He answers the door, and in walks Joshua. His face turns grave as he takes in the scene, immediate understanding written on his face.

I wonder how long it's been since I left after hearing about Mingyu's good news. It feels like an eternity ago. It feels like a minute ago.

Joshua clears his throat, standing awkwardly in the doorway as only half the eyes in the room look toward him. "Uhm, Y/N, JIsoo, guys," he whispered. "If you're able to, S.Coups asked for you to come back."

Right now, Standing up sounds like the most remarkable feat in the world. Thankfully, Minghao steps toward me, reaching a hand down to help me up. Minghao pulls me up, catching me before I fall.

DK begins whispering with Jisoo, much too quiet for me to hear. It seems to take a lot of convincing, but eventually, with another sniffle, Jisoo nods, refusing DK's outreached hand and pushing herself up. For the first time since I entered the room, I see her face. It's red and exceptionally puffy. Her eyes look far away and distant, as if her vision expands past this small room. I'm sure I can't look any better.

"Come on," Joshua urges.

His haste worries me. It feels like I was stabbed with a sword as I imagine the worst news. Mingyu suffered from one of his vital wounds and is now on his way with Changkyun.

The look on my fa ce must express my horror,because Joshua shakes his head, offering a small smile and mouthing, 'he's okay.'

"Wait!"

I stand shocked as Jooheon struggles to his feet, tears streaming down his face, looking even worse than Jisoo. "Whatever is happening right now, whatever you learn and whatever you decide to do—" his voice chokes up. "We- we call a truce, and we remove ourselves from the races. Just for now. While we grieve."