MC Devil Dogs #2 I Will Never Love Again.

Losing Baby Rose tw mention of infant loss and suicide

Ruby

Well here I am at another town, another bar and another go at life. The locals that come into this bar are mostly bikers. Some get a little handsy but I have learned over the last couple years how to take care of myself. I maybe small but I am not about to let anyone hurt me ever again. As I get ready to open the bar, my mind wanders to the day that I lost my baby Rose. I had came home early from nursing school. I walked into my home to see my baby sister Sally screwing my husband Leo on my kitchen table. I didn't even say a word I just continued to go upstairs to get my babygirl. My plan was to get Rose and just leave without saying a word to them. They were so busy fucking that they did not realize I came in. I had been with Leo since I was 15, this man filled my life with so much love and joy. I would never in a 100 years think that he would to this to us. Our life was perfect, so I thought. I remember the closer I got to Rose's door I just felt so uneasy. I opened her door to find her in a deep sleep, she should have been awake by then. I knew something was seriously wrong. I picked up my babygirl's limp body and screamed. I ran to grab my phone to call 911 and then began CPR. Leo and Sally came running in the room with shocked faces.

I was so focused on my daughter I just did not care about Leo or Sally. Leo reached to take Rose from me but I screamed "NO!" I continued CPR until the paramedics came in to take over. I rode with Rose to the hospital and I will never forget how they pushed me out of the room while they worked on her. Soon Leo, Sally and my parents showed up. Leo tries to hold me but I pushed him off me. I hear my mother ask what happened but I did not answer. I was so angry, hurt and scared to death at that moment. Sally started talking to explain she had put Rose down for her nap and she was fine. I glared at her, I have always had a soft heart and love for everyone. However at that moment I felt nothing but hatred for my sister and husband. My mother had ask again "What happen to baby Rose?" Again Sally went to speak but I stopped her. Through clenched teeth I said "Sally was too busy fucking my husband to know what happened to my Rose! I came home early from school to find them fucking on my kitchen table. I went to go get my daughter to leave them to it but found her barely breathing." I then fell to my knees totally broken. Leo again had tried to comfort me but I couldn't stand his touch.

The stunned silence was interrupted by the doctor coming out. I can remember his words as if it was five minutes ago. He told us that the news was not good. My babygirl was on life support with very little chance of survival. He had ask if we had noticed anything different with her behavior but I told him that she was a perfectly happy and healthy baby when I left for school that morning. He had ask about recent falls but there were none. I then turned to my husband and Sally to ask what the hell had happened to my Rose! They both say they had no idea. I then went to hold my Rose I held her a little tighter. She had been on life support a week when we were told there was no hope. At that moment I hated Leo and Sally. However I called Leo to come say goodbye to our daughter. He started crying and kept saying no over and over again. When he showed up my parents also came but they brought Sally. I screamed for her to get out. I was so broken. My mother had tried to get me to let her stay but I told her she had to go or they could all leave. My father had been the one to get Sally to leave. Leo and I held her the last few minutes of her life. That day I lost my baby girl Rose. That day I died on the inside and vowed to never love anyone again.

We later found out through autopsy that she had died from an overdose from a sleepy aid. The day they told me that I went crazy. I first went to confront Leo, I found him drunk on the couch. I kicked his leg to get him awake. He first got all excited thinking I had came back to him. Fuck that. I ask him did he give our daughter a sleep aid in her bottle that day. He was shocked. He jumped up and screamed "Fuck no Ruby I would never had done that to our Rose!" He told me that day that he knew he screwed up by fucking Sally but he would have never hurt our girl. He would have never put her life in jeopardy. He went on to tell me he honestly thought she was just extra tired that day and that was why she took such a long nap. I believed him so I told him to come with me and went to find that piece of shit sister of mine.

I went into my parent's house yelling for Sally. She came running down the stairs and I started yelling "What the fuck did you do to my daughter!!??" She looked over to Leo. I told her "Don't fucking look at him, you will answer me today or I will make you answer." She asked Leo "What is the meaning of this Leo?" I told her that I was the one asking the questions. My parents had come in wanting to know what was going on trying to calm me down. I told them that Sally had explaining to do and now. She acted innocent. I threw the paperwork from the autopsy. I screamed "God Damn You Fucking Bitch! You gave my Rose sleeping pills so she would sleep long enough for you to fuck my husband." She had tried to deny it but I was prepared that day. I had brought a gun in my purse. So I reached for my gun. I had nothing to lose so I had told her to tell the fucking truth or I would blow her fucking brains out. My mother had begged me not to do anything stupid and kept reminding me that Sally was my sister. Like I could ever fucking forget. I turned to my mother that day and told her "Yea and Rose was my babygirl, and she will tell me what happened to my daughter!" I gave her for the count of 3. I got to 2 when Sally started telling us what she had done. She screamed " I didn't mean for her to die!" She admitted that when Leo came home for lunch that day she thought it was her chance to be with him but Rose was fussy due to teething. So she had give her some sleep aid in her bottle. I will never forget Leo's words that day "NO NO, you mean to tell me while I was fucking you my daughter was dying because of you!" That day I went to the police station with the evidence and made her go with me to confess. My parents chose to stand by her though. They mortgaged their house and got her the very best lawyer they could find. Few months later Sally got off with a slap on the wrist.

6 Weeks after we found out how Rose died. My friend called me to tell me that Leo had committed suicide. Leo's parents eventually called me and asked if they could mail a letter to me from Leo. I agreed. A week later I got the letter and read it.

Dear Ruby,
I want you to know that I will never forgive myself for what happened to our daughter. I miss our Rose everyday. Just so you know that was the very first time I had ever cheated on you. I have no excuse, I was an idiot. I have always loved you and will always love you. Ruby I am so very sorry baby. I wish I could turn back time. Just so you know I bought the lot next to our Rose. I will take care of our babygirl. I will make sure she knows her mommy misses her. I love you Ruby and I am so very sorry. I may not have given her the medicine but I am just as responsible for the death of our angel. Please forgive me for everything. I hope you find some happiness again. You are a beautiful person and deserve to be loved again.
Forever yours,
Leo.

I was so angry with Leo for taking the cowardly way out. He should have stayed and hurt everyday like me. I hear someone knocking on the bar and realize I was so lost in thought that I missed the fact we had opened. The big asshole in front of me was demanding service. Sometimes it takes everything in me not to throat punch people. Everyone gets on my fucking nerves now. Tonight will be worse than normal because of my memories of that horrible day. I miss my Rose every day.