A Loveless Meal

Chapter 15: A Gift (A Bribe?)

Vincent sat on the couch in the living room, drinking his morning shake and yawning. Truthfully, he hadn't gotten much sleep and he was a bit out of sorts, his mind feeling muddled and his body tired. He'd gotten home late last night after Rody left, trying to keep himself distracted with paper work. Not that it had worked.

Even though he'd been awake nearly an hour now, this was all he had really accomplished. His hair was messy, he was still in his Pjs, and he'd even put on his glasses rather than taking the time to deal with his contact lenses. The black-rimmed frames felt awkward on his face after so long not wearing them, but with how tired his eyes were, he felt like contacts would not be the brightest idea.

Still, he was tired. Espresso had ended up being one of the ingredients in today's shake just so he could be sure he was awake enough to function later.

Why was he so out of sorts? Well, even though he had atleast managed a small amount of rest, his mind had primarily been abuzz with thoughts of yesterday. He simply couldn't wrap his mind around Rody's reactions; The sugary sweet words he'd said after watching the sunset together, nor why he'd gotten so distressed when Vincent hadn't wanted to talk about it. Sure, Vincent had tried to play his adverse reaction off like it had never happened in hopes that Rody would let it go, but if anything he only seemed to get more panicked. Then suddenly he's having an anxiety attack? While Vincent didn't understand why, he knew he was the cause of it.

Vincent sighed and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping the blanket he'd grabbed from the bed around his shoulders tighter as he leaned back against the couch cushion. I know he's sensitive, but I didn't know it was that bad... What even set him off..? he thought, clutching his smoothie to his chest. He didn't know why he felt so cold today, but he hoped it would pass soon.

Glancing up at the clock, Vincent still had a few hours before he had to start getting ready to go. He'd woken up especially early today, though for once he begrudged his habit of that since it had left him to his thoughts for longer than he would have liked. But he'd been waking up early since his college days, so there wasn't much to be done about it now.

Exhaling deeply, Vincent set his smoothie off to the side and curled up on the couch, pulling the blanket over him as he stared at the wall and thought.
He and his exes had always had the silent understanding that their relationship would only last as long as they both benefited from it. That was just the way the world worked, a relationship of give and take. You don't do something if you don't stand to gain anything from it, so thinking about relationships in the long term was not only uncommon but was usually considered more of an investment to be given thoughtful consideration rather than a given.

And yet Rody had so quickly and happily stated that he was excited to spend the rest of his sunsets together with Vincent. A statement so simple and yet so drenched in meaning that he'd been taken aback. What was he supposed to say to that? The very idea of promising something like 'together forever' was not only foreign, it was downright alarming. It meant leaving yourself vulnerable to not just disappointment but heartbreak, something that he'd not personally experienced but had seen the effects of firsthand. Even the idea of putting himself through something like that was appalling, one of many reasons why he'd judged Michel so harshly for leaving him for such a precarious relationship. It made no sense.

And yet here he was. Replaying that look of hurt and desperation on Rody's face after he'd pulled away, guilt needling at Vincent even as he tried to tell himself that it wasn't his fault. Rody was being foolish, too trusting and too susceptible to anyone with ill-intent. This is exactly how he'd gotten his heart broken by that Mary woman or whatever her name was.
He seriously needs someone to keep him from doing stupid things like this.. he thought, frowning.