i can still remember
holding Riley in my palms.
and in just a second,
poof,
Riley was gone.
i think i just blinked,
but when i opened my eyes,
Riley is nowhere to be found.
oh, no,
Riley is still here
around me,
poking me from time to time,
telling me she’s having a great life
without actually telling me.
but Riley, did you know
you were one of the reasons why
i feel so low?
Riley, i love you so much,
that it turned to greed.
and when that monster didn’t get
what it wanted,
anger sprouted.
there’s anger in my heart, Riley,
and i don’t really know how to calm
it down.
i know that you don’t either,
i’m just hoping that you’ll sit with me
under the shade of a tree,
for maybe by doing so,
the monster will be put into deep sleep
and it won’t bother me anymore.
Riley, is it considered revenge
if i badly want to show you
how better i can be without you?
that i do all the pathetic things
just for you to see
how happy i can be,
though i once mentioned in the past
that you’re my sunbeam.
because the truth is, i can’t,
that no matter how realistic
the smile i paint on my face,
i know you can still see through it,
and tell that i’m not fine.
Riley, i’m not fine.
i can never be.
not that i know how happier you can still
be without me.
this is selfish, but i hope i can take it back.
i hope i can ignore you,
and all the best things we did
when they come and visit me
from time to time.
it’s because i think i can never be that
happy ever again.
the smiles were raw,
but the rawness is also the reason
why the monster screams.
YOU ARE READING
Found This Book Somewhere In The Forest
Poesie"Talk to my soul later midnight, when the moon's at its peak. That's the only way of communication that I know, because my physical lips will stutter if I told you about how I want to tear my human skin apart and go out."
