RubyRed // Woozi

Track #1

☆°•~☆~•°☆

RED. EVERYTHING IS RED. I don't like red. Haven't liked it for 6 years.

I'm sure I did like it at some point. I can't remember. I should like red. Red is my business in a way. It's my job. Red made me successful. Popular. Famous. 

But I don't think it makes me happy.

For the longest time I noticed something missing. I cannot pinpoint the exact moment when. But I have been feeling like I'm in a void. A void of nothingness. Except for the red specks everywhere.

There should be more. I should be happy. But I am not.

The fan above my bed buzzes softly as it blows cool air onto my skin. They told me to get an AC. I didn't. I like the sound of the fan. It calms me. It has been there since I moved in and it has not once failed me. I don't see a point in getting rid of something that lacks in nothing but age. If it does its work - and that it certainly does - why replace it.

I shouldn't be having such a personal connection to a ceiling fan.

I open my eyes. The red is gone. The blowing air causes my eyes to tear up momentarily, causing me involuntarily to look in another direction but up.

I see a white furball laying at the end of my bed. Next to me. Not quite out of reach. I could stretch my arm and feel her soft fur. But I don't. I don't feel like moving.

I like my job. I like what I do. I am one of the few people on this earth who were able to fulfil their dream. And I would never change this for anything. It's just the red that bothers me.

I reach for my phone. The case. Red. Like everything else. It was the details that made me become the Idol I am today. The small parts that were red. That were sensual. That were exciting. That were loving.

People desire me. Because of red. Especially men. I became an object of desire. An object of love. An object that was made through the colour of red. I am red.

The sheets under me rustle as I sit up. Marie's tail moves over the white sheets. The white curtains - that look almost beige because of the setting sun - stop the light from travelling further into the room.

It's 8pm. I should be heading out soon. I'm working late today. They gave me midday off. I was at the company yesterday until the middle of the night. I came back at around 3 am and today won't be any different.

I like the late practice hours. The moments when only a few people are in the building. When it's quiet. Almost so quiet that I miss the buzzing of my fan in my room.

They have an AC in the building. I like my fan.

I get up. My Bag with my stuff stands next to my door, seemingly waiting for me to pick it up. I'm driving to the company alone today. I'll be meeting my manager there. She told me to be there in time. I'm already running late.

I tap my freshly manicured fingers on the steering wheel. Dark cherry red with golden accents. I like them. They're pretty, if it weren't for the red. It isn't as bad as other reds. Not as striking as others. But red. Still. I'd love it. If it weren't red.

The traffic light shines in a neon light inside my car. Painting everything an anxiety inducing colour.

It's the colour I'm used to the most. The striking red that fills the stage as soon as I'm about to enter. It's the colour I hate the most.

The red changes colour and the cars start moving again. Out of reflex I look into the rear-view mirror. Nothing suspicious yet. But they could be anywhere. The people that call themselves my fans but do nothing to make it seem like they are.