Pretty Pink Flowers : Poolverine x OC

3

"Shhh shh shh. Tell me where it hurts." Her hands were caressing Deadpool's masked head. He nuzzled into her palm, still woozy from the plants poison. He delicately points to his neck, the green thorns still lodged inside of him.
"Oh poor baby. You want me to fix that for you?" When he nods she presses down on the injuries with her thumbs, resulting in him crying out in pain.

"That's for the pretty pink flowers comment. Let's get one thing straight, I am more than a force of nature. I force nature. I can control any and all vegetation. I'm not a glorified gardener prancing around in a latex suit, I'm the planets restorative justice."

"Is your suit latex? That's something I could be interested in seeing. Also, sweetness, why can't I move my limbs?" Wade notices the sticky green leaves wrapped around his arms and legs. He looks around at his surroundings, this isn't the home he passed out in. This is an entirely glass greenhouse the size of a megachurch. Somehow there were even more fucking plants in here than at her other place. Wade feels those hands on his head again, and he realizes his head is resting on her lap as she sits on the floor with him.
"Where are we, if you don't mind my asking oh powerful lettuce leaf."

"You seemed like you weren't going to just leave my house, and I'm accustomed to having all of my furniture in one piece. If you needed to fight, I'd rather we do that here. But while you were unconscious, I got a very .. colorful email from Happy. He was detailing your recent mission and how you're the perfect fit for me."

Perfect fit for her indeed.

"Although, I am surprised you didn't bring Wolverine with you on this one. You two sound like a package deal."

"Oh, he told you about the Honda Odyssey? I didn't even know he knew about that."

"The what?"

"Nevermind, I'll tell you later. He is coming he just wasn't supposed to. So he had to find alternative ways of travel, therefore having him lag behind schedule."

"Couldn't travel cross country without your boyfriend?"

"Not my boyfriend, per se. More like my live-in booty call who has also evolved into being one of my best friends."

"So what are the odds that a gargantuan oiled up
mutant is sitting on my couch right now?"

"Pretty good."

"Fantastic."

"You realize people would die for the opportunity that's being handed to you? Do you know how hard I had to work just to even have them remember my name? And they want you so badly they're willing to let me on the team if I can successfully recruit you. I would take it in every hole with hot metal rods for an offer like that. Can you please just, consider coming back with us and at least just go to headquarters and have me get you that far. If you hate it and want to come back to this dank seasonal depression Mecca you will hear no objections from me. I know you don't owe me anything, I just need to-"

"Fine. I'll do it."

"You will? Why? Was it my begging or was it how nice it feels to have my head on your lap? Are you acquiring a fondness for me? Are we Ross and Racheling?"

"You're desperate and I'm not a monster, despite popular opinion. I'll go but I won't promise I'll stay. And yes, I love listening to men beg."

The tables will turn on that one, that's for fucking sure.

"Plus, I've always wanted to meet Logan."