This is a former canceled vent book, disclaimer: first 3 chapters are my angsty self thoughts.
Original story description: things that I write at 3 am because I have no life
(the cover imagine was made for a camp challenge, by me, so no copyright infringement here loll)
heyyyy- it's been so fucking long since I've posted here, uhh- I just kind of got caught up I stuff, like a lot of stuff.
So first of all, i ended contact with the friend I was talking about throughout the whole book.
to quickly explain what happened, i felt depressed, and at first I just wanted to end my friendship with them so i could maybe make them less sad when i'm gone, but ye
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(i'm still embarrassed about my confession text, so please don't make fun of that and also the screenshots i sent them were basically a friend who used to make fun of them)
I hated the idea of loving them, after years of me messing up our relationship, then still being in love afterwards, I felt disgusted in myself, I obviously see that this person does not love me in any way, and i should stop getting my hopes up in life. They're traumatized enough, i just need them to find normal people and a safe place, not hold they're hand or kiss them. And i want to hit myself, and them, I hate them so much, but oh, how much I love them, and would never hurt them.
But yeah- i failed to kill myself lol (i tried to die from blood loss, but my body basically said no and my fucking leg literally slid away from the razor blade??)
And I didn't want to announce? that on my wattpad, because i thought I'd be better for me to not cause any more stress for random people on the internet
But yeah, afterwards i slightly cried and got to packing myself for a camp I was going to. The next day my head hurt like shit and I basically vented out to one of the camp leaders because my emotions go loose anytime my head hurts (i think, i'm just saying from observation).
I felt a lot better afterwards, but then got a jumpscare as the next day i found out that another camp leader was informed about this because it seemed, well, dangerous.
They were a social worker, and they said that they're gonna have to write up a report and also to tell my parents that I've tried to commit suicide and self-harm on a regular. I didn't trust them afterwards loll.
