MC Devil Dogs #2 I Will Never Love Again.

Going home...meeting Leonard.

Spider

     This woman will absolutely be the death of me.  After I spanked her she calmed down.  I told her to grab her shit so we could get on the road.  She did as I told her, believe it or not.  She is a fucking hellcat this one I tell you.  I bet she is something else in the bedroom.  Don't go there Spider.  I just don't have the energy for this shit.  We were on the road for about five hours.  She actually slept most of the way.  I can't help but laugh now about what went down, she is a fiesty little bitch.  She was adorable while she slept though.  Her face was beautiful with her sprinkle of freckles.  I wake her up as we come into the town.  We decided to go to the hospital first before checking into a hotel.  We walk through the front door and go to the elevator.  Her father is on the 5th floor which is the oncology dept.  As we step into the elevator as soon as the door close I feel her small hand in mine.  I give her a side hug to try and reassure her.  We get to the door of his room and Red stops.  I stand beside her and give her a few minutes to collect herself. 

Ruby

      We get in front of my dad's room and I freeze.  I don't know if I can do this.  Spider stood there holding my hand and he gave me a reassuring nod.  I whispered "I haven't seen him in about 2 years."  Spider squeezes my hand and kisses me on top of my head.  He then says "Go in there like the little firecracker you are."  That made me smile, I nodded my head at him and opened the door.  As I walked in I saw my mother asleep beside my dad.   He was a ghost of the man he use to be.  He looks so frail.  I didn't say anything I just stood there.  My father turned his head and saw me.  He could barely talk, he kept saying "My little Ruby, my little Ruby."  This woke my mother up.  I didn't know how to feel.  Do I love him or do I hate him?  I still have so much anger towards them all.  He tried to reach out to me and my mom stood up.  She came over trying to give me a hug but I am not there yet.  I just stood there saying nothing.  Then something my mother said caught my attention.  She said Sally and Leonard would be here soon.  Who the hell is Leonard?  Must be a boyfriend, I need to hurry this up because I do not want to see Sally at all.  I finally say "You wanted to see me dad so I am here."  He then ask if he could get a hug.  I felt Spider presence behind me which gave me the strength to give him a hug.  I pulled away within seconds.  I just started feeling overwhelmed with anxiety being here.

Spider

     I can feel Red shaking all over.  She is so anxious, I am trying to be there for her but I don't have a clue what to do.  I feel her move forward when her dad ask for a hug.  She leans over to him for about 3 second hug.  He looks hurt but tries not to show it.  Red's parents are telling her the latest news from the doctor when all of sudden the room door slams open.  I see the cutest little boy run in.  Then I saw the girl from the club the other night.  I heard her say "Leonard what has Mommy told you about running in the hospital."  The little fellow says "Mommy, me torry."
I was so wrapped up in watching the little boy that I didn't notice Red freeze beside me.  She started hyperventilating.  I see her mom get up again to go toward her but she jerks away from her.  I hear her mom say "Now Ruby the boy is innocent, he is a blessing.  God saw fit to give us another grandchild."  Ruby slaps her mother and then nearly collapses.  I hear Sally say "You have no right to hit our mother!"  Red just drops to her knees crying with her hand over her heart.  I pick her up and carry her out of the room.  I decide to take her to the hotel.

Ruby

     I remember standing in the room talking to my parents when the door slammed open and a little boy who looked just like Leo came in.  I was so shocked, how could they not tell me or warn me about this.  Then my mother's words set me over the edge.  I know Sally said something to me but by then I had done shut down.  When I finally came to Spider had already had me in the hotel room.  I am on the bed apparently I have been out for a while because Spider is asleep on the love seat.  I can not let him sleep there he will be so uncomfortable.  I walk over to him to wake him up to come lay on the bed.  We are both grown adults.  I manage to wake him but it takes him a couple of tries to get up.  Spider finally got up and sat on the edge of the bed.  I told him to remove his shirt and I would try to massage the kinks out.  I needed to do something because I honestly felt like I was going crazy.  He removes his shirt and just like I thought his upper body is covered in tats.  As I am massaging him Spider turns to look at me then ask "Can you tell me what happened to you at the hospital?"  I stop massaging him and debate.  Do I want to tell him?

     I don't like talking about my Rose but today was a little too much to take in.  I really need someone to talk to and I guess I kind of owe him an explanation since he brought me here.  No one really likes to be brought down by another person's pain.  We are not a couple, not even friends.  Fuck it I am just gonna tear the band-aid off and lay it all out there.  I don't think my heart can bleed anymore anyway.  So I told him I needed him to get dressed, I needed to take him somewhere so he can understand.  I gave him directions. 

Spider

     I woke up on the love seat miserable. Red offered to massage me, as she was I ask her about what happened today.  I could see she was debating on telling me but then she tells me to get ready to go somewhere.  She gave me directions and as we pulled in I saw it was a cemetery.  I didn't say anything.  I was confused for sure.  She told me to stop the truck.  We get out and she steps over to grab my hand to follow her.  She tells me she has someone special she wants me to meet.  As we walk up to the area I figured it must be her husband.  Sure enough I saw his name Leo on the tombstone when she stopped.  Then she starts talking to someone but not her husband.  I hear her say "Babygirl Mommy has missed you so much.  You would be running and talking by now if you was still with me.  I would be letting you help me bake cookies, we could play hide and seek.  I bet you would have a head full of red curls by now."  Red breaks down crying.  She keeps saying she is so sorry she couldn't protect her.  I see the tombstone say Rose Ava Smith.  Damn not even a year old when she passed.  Fuck no wonder her eyes hold so much pain.

Ruby

     I see Spider still standing there so I decided to tell him everything.  I tell him how Sally killed my baby the day she slept with my husband.  I tell him how my parents paid for the best lawyer and she got off with murder.  I also told him Leo carried a lot of guilt so he took his own life.  I stand up and lean into Spider because I need his touch right now.  I speak "Today at the hospital when I saw that little boy that was the moment I realized the day Sally killed my Rose was the day she got pregnant by Leo.  Leonard looks just like Leo."  Spider says "No damn wonder you didn't want to come back."  I still can't believe no one thought it necessary to warn me about Leonard.  I finally calm down and I tell Rose goodbye.  We hop in the truck and decide to go grab a bite to eat.  As we were waiting on our food, I told Spider seeing Leonard set me off because no one, not my family or friends told me about him.  I can't believe I had to lose my little girl yet Sally got her little boy.  I know the kid is not to blame but it doesn't make it any less painful. 

      As we are finishing our meal I see Leo's parents come in.  They see me and walk over.  They start off by telling they are sorry they didn't tell me about Leonard but they knew it would be too painful.  Leo's mother grasps my hand and says "Please understand, We lost Leo and Rose .  It is only us now so having Leonard gives us someone to love."  I stand up, I tell her "I understand.  When is the last time you visited Rose?"  She gasp but I just don't give a fuck right now.  I know it was a low blow but damn does anyone give a shit anymore.  I need to get the fuck out of here.

Spider

     I did not expect to hear all that today.  Damn no wonder she seems ready to kill at a moments notice.  Seeing Leo's parents was definately not the way to end our day.  This has been one fucked up day though.  We get back into the room, she grabs a quick shower.  Once she comes out I grab one.  I expected to get 2 rooms but due to some festival in town I couldn't.  She offered for me to sleep in the bed too since I am a giant.  I grab me a quick shower.  I come back out and she looks up at me.  She asks "Spider do you think you could just hold me for a while?"  I climb in bed and pull her to me.  I start rubbing her back.  I feel her relaxing.  I tell her how sorry I am about all the pain and loss she suffered.  I tell her there is nothing like losing your child.  I tell her how amazingly strong she is and if she ever needs a friend to talk to call me.  I slowly drift off to sleep.  I can't help liking how she feels next to me. 

     I see myself walking into my house.  I see my beautiful Lily laying there covered in blood.  I can hear a baby crying.  I can't find her.  I run through each room but still can not find my Molly.  I start yelling "Molly daddy's coming! Hang on sweety daddy's coming!"  My heart rate speeds up, someone grabs me.  I am screaming "NO! NO! NO! I haven't found Molly yet! Please let me find Molly."  I am crying and begging.  I feel a slap to my face.  I jerk awake without finding my Molly.  I have not had a nightmare in a while.