falling for 13 || Johnny Kavanagh

They're Talking About Me

G R A C E

It felt like everyone knew.

It didn't matter where I walked, what class I went to, or who I sat beside—there were always whispers. Some people were good about it, kept their heads down and their voices low, but others were more blatant, like they wanted me to know they were talking about me.

I could feel their eyes on me, feel the weight of their stares as I passed them in the halls, as if I was some sort of gossip or story they could pass around like homework answers. The only thing I'd learned in the past few weeks was how to avoid their gazes, how to keep my head down and pretend I didn't notice.

The truth was, I noticed everything. Every sideways glance, every awkward pause when I walked into a room. And I hated it.

"Grace, come on," Aoibh's voice cut through the noise, breaking me out of my thoughts. She was walking beside me, her arm linked through mine as if she could shield me from everything. Clara and Orlaith were just ahead of us, chatting about some school event coming up, but my mind was miles away.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, blinking as I tried to focus on her.

Aoibh sighed, giving me a knowing look. "I was asking if you wanted to come over later. We can watch a film or something. It'll be a chill night, yeah?"

I forced a smile, even though I wasn't sure I had the energy for it. "Yeah, maybe."

Aoibh wasn't fooled. She squeezed my arm gently, and I appreciated the way she didn't push me to say more. She and the girls had been amazing these past few weeks, always there, always trying to make sure I wasn't alone. But there were still moments, like this one, where I felt like I was in a bubble—disconnected from everything around me.

We reached the locker, and I saw them—Johnny and his group of friends—by the far end of the hall. He was leaning against the wall, Gibsie and a few of the other lads standing around him, laughing about something. My stomach twisted when I saw him. It had been awkward between us since that day by the lockers. We weren't avoiding each other anymore, but there was this constant tension, this unsaid thing between us.

Johnny looked up, and for a second, our eyes met. My breath caught in my throat. He gave me a small nod, one that was so subtle, it felt like no one else in the hallway would notice. But I did. I noticed everything when it came to Johnny.

I returned the nod, but quickly turned my attention back to Aoibh. I didn't trust myself to look at him for too long.

The thing was, things had never been simple between me and Johnny. Before everything happened, there was always this pull between us, this spark that we both pretended wasn't there. It was easier to pretend, easier to fight and act like we didn't care. Now, though, with everything that had happened, the pretending wasn't working anymore.

And I didn't know what to do with that.

PE was next. Normally, I would've been dreading it, but today I was glad. At least it would give me something to do, something to focus on that wasn't the constant chatter about what had happened that night.

In the changing room, the girls were buzzing with their usual energy. Aoibh and Clara were talking about some party coming up next weekend, while Orlaith was trying to find her lost PE shirt. I just sat on the bench, half-listening, pulling my trainers on.

That's when I heard it. One of the lads from across the hall, in the boys' changing room, his voice louder than it should have been.

"Was it good though? Was it worth getting the shit kicked out of you?" The voice asked, unmistakably Ben Murphy. Even without seeing his face, I could picture that smirk that Cian always had.

My stomach dropped. I froze, every muscle in my body going tense. Ben was one of Cian's friends. I didn't need to hear more to know what he was talking about.

For a moment, the noise of the changing room faded, and its like all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears.

A second later, I heard Johnny's voice—louder, angrier than I'd ever heard him. "Keep talking about her like that, Starky," he said, his voice low but dangerous. "I'd love a reason to tear your fucking head off again."

The room fell silent. Even the girls had stopped talking, as if the weight of Johnny's words had carried through the walls.

I swallowed hard, my hands shaking as I laced up my shoes. I didn't want this. I didn't want Johnny fighting my battles, didn't want him getting dragged into this any more than he already had. But part of me—some deep, messed-up part—was relieved that he'd said something, that he'd shut Starky up before it could get worse.

"Grace?" Aoibh's voice was soft beside me, her eyes wide with concern. "Are you alright?"

I nodded quickly, though I wasn't sure if I was alright. "Yeah, fine," I mumbled. "Let's just get to class."

We were outside on the pitch, waiting for Mr. Farrell to sort out teams for some half-arsed game of football. The boys had already started kicking the ball around, and I couldn't help but glance over to where Johnny was standing. He was watching Cian like a hawk, even though he was trying to act like everything was normal.

It wasn't normal, though. Nothing was.

Aoibh nudged me, her voice low. "He's still looking out for you, you know."

I glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Who?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Johnny."

I didn't say anything, because she was right. Johnny had been looking out for me ever since that night, even though we barely talked about it. He hadn't pushed me to explain, hadn't asked for more than I was willing to give. But he was always there, hovering in the background, like he couldn't stop himself from protecting me.

"I don't need him to fight my battles," I said quietly, more to myself than to Aoibh.

She shrugged. "Maybe not. But that doesn't mean he's going to stop."

I sighed, watching as Johnny finally kicked the ball back to one of the lads. Aoibh was right again—Johnny wasn't going to stop. And I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

But as I watched him on the field, standing tall and tense, ready for anything, I couldn't deny the small, twisted comfort I felt knowing he was there.