white tulips

Four

Finally the weekend arrived. But for me weekend didn't mean to sleep until 1 pm or rotting in bed all day, weekend was my interpretation of going to the mosque. I spent every weekend at least 2 hours in the mosque. For me it was the most beautiful place in this small town. I started with praying two rakat's before sitting down and then decided to read the Quran. One day I wanted to be a Hafiz in sha Allah.

While reading the Quran I always shiver from head to toe because I realized how little we appreciate everything that Allah swt. created. It was like a reminder for me to not forget who I should thank for breathing every second and much more. But us humans seemed to be forgetting it daily.

After I went out of the mosque, Grace and I wanted to meet up in our coffee shop. I was there early and ordered a hot chocolate while waiting for her. "Didn't think I would see you here, snickers." Oh Allah, why did he have to keep bothering me? I looked up to see these almond shaped black eyes already staring at me.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed. He sat down at my table. "That's not the Khadijah I remember from yesterday." "Oh shut up, if I knew that thanking you would mean that you think we are friends I would have never come to the idea." "Come on snickerdoodle. You know you like me." Snickerdoodle? This guy has to stop. "Man I told you to stop calling me that and no, I definitely do not like you." "You will eventually come around. I've got to go, see you snickers."

I sighed in relief that this guy finally left and I see Grace standing there already looking at me in shock. "What. was. that.", she almost screamed. "Nothing, now calm down. I just don't get why he won't leave me alone." "Duhhh he obviously likes you. Don't you see it?" "You're insane. The only thing he likes is to provoke me. And he is annoyingly good at it."

"Whatever you say babe. But did you already decide where you want to go for college?" "I don't and I don't want to. Why can't we stay in high school forever? I'm not ready to leave this town." I really meant it. Never would I have thought that time really flies like everyone said. Here lived my family and all the memories I've collected since I was able to think, I didn't want to give this up. Again I was filled up with my thoughts but Grace managed to get me out of them.

"I was thinking maybe we could go to NYU together. It won't be that hard to get into and even if you won't admit it, you're one of the best students in our school." "New York isn't that far away since we live in Pennsylvania and maybe you're right about my grades. I'll definitely think about it." "YAYYY!!", Grace almost explode. "That was not a yes, Grace." "But also not a no.", she added.

Even though Grace had been my best friend for almost 10 years we are the complete opposite of each other. She is an extrovert trying to get to know everything and everyone, while I was good with the people around me. I loved the people I know and I didn't need any more. Maybe because I was also scared that the people I would let into my life could leave and I didn't want to experience this pain. Aaliyah leaving soon would be enough to bear.

It was time for us to go and Grace gave me a ride home. Arrived at home I prayed maghreb and grabbed myself something to eat when I heard the front door open. "Assalamu aleikum my dear how was your day?" "Aleikum assalam mom, it was fine Alhamduillah, where were you?" "I was in the hospital, Aaliyah is getting weaker. I feel terrible." She started to burst into tears and I ran to hug her. We didn't say anything, we just stood there in silence crying together for about good 15 minutes.

Then my Mom and I prayed ishaa together and she decided that it would be best for herself if she would go to sleep now. Maybe I should do that too. But before I took a shower and put on some pajamas. I layed in my bed, tucked myself in when I heard my phone dinging. I had a new message from- Couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Hey snickers. I have a quick question."
"What do you want?"
"Can I, as a non muslim, enter a mosque?"

Why did he want to know that???

"Yeah. Why?"
"Just askin' c u monday;)"

What the hell was that. Couldn't he ask Hamza this exact question? I just wondered why he wanted to know that. Wait. Is he inter- no probably not. But what if- I needed to stop this. He probably just was confused about me not wanting to touch him or anything. Poor guy very likely never got a rejection before and is now looking for a way to annoy the hell out of me. I saw my phone, still open on our chat, laying next to me. Trying to resist texting him. Oh shoot and I send a text.

"What is wrong with you?"
"What?"
"Why do you keep trying to bother me every chance you get? Isn't at school enough?"
"You just don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?"
"That I like you."

What the actual-

I threw my phone to the other side of my bed. That wasn't real. And he was so confident about it?! I really needed to go to sleep and I really tried to. But somehow I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. The whole night I thought about what he said and then I realised: He was messing with me. That could've been the only explanation possible. There was no way for him to actually like me and I didn't know why I made such a big deal out of it. Yeah, that's it.