Our Little Lives, in this Big World

[INTRO:] It's Okay

It's quite interesting when you sit down, feel the still air, and watch; Watch the world around you move. People interact, fueled by the mechanics and impulses of the brain as they change others' day, or lives, in the biggest or slightest of ways. Bugs crawl, birds sing, animals explore, all to their own agenda. Flowers blossom and trees grow on a world that never stops spinning. Your heart keeps beating but even when you die, time keeps going and your body returns back to the Earth, and back to time.

Though Wonwoo sits in a world of all this constant movement, he can't help but feel for the illusion of stillness in the air. Ironically, it's in these moments that makes Wonwoo think about how fast time really does go by. One second, you're waiting in traffic on the way to a job interview, then you blink. Now, he is already ten years into his teaching career at Attacca University. Moments may feel slow now, or even neverending, but give it time and it shall become a memory.

One must learn to appreciate the simple things in life, those are what Wonwoo believes makes up the feeling of true happiness. But the thought of happiness is followed by thoughts of sadness, for that is balance and there is both in life. Wonwoo was eight years old when he realized just how precious, yet unfair, life is.

Since he was a child, he has been in and out of the hospital due to a weak heart. He never understood why he was born that way, but couldn't understand what other way there was for him. He only knew of life in his own body. That's how things were, nothing to be done.

It was the winter of his third year in elementary school when he was scheduled for his first surgery. Just like with any surgery, there were risks, but the doctors felt confident about the procedure. His parents, the owners of a very successful water resort, checked their son into the hospital several days before his surgery was scheduled.

When Wonwoo felt scared, he would ask a nurse to help him into a wheelchair, take him out of the pediatric wing, through the courtyard, then a few rooms down the hall to see his grandmother. She had been hospitalized a week prior and the family was worried about having two members in a hospital, but they kept their smiles on for their loved ones. So did the two patients.

The day before his surgery was when Wonwoo met the person that would become his best friend. After passing the family business down to Wonwoo's parents, his grandmother had been a school teacher at a local elementary school.

One day when Wonwoo was talking with his grandmother, he felt shy when the room was unexpectedly met by some students of her's who came to visit. It was hard for him to look the tall boy in the eye who had such a kind smile. The next day, that same tall boy came back and stopped by Wonwoo's room. He introduced himself as Kim Mingyu, and the two hit it off right away. Mingyu told Wonwoo about how being under anesthesia seems cool because he read somewhere that people sometimes have "crazy cool psychic moments!" as he so excitedly put. It was funny how quickly Mingyu made Wonwoo feel better when he was so nervous just a couple hours earlier. The boy promised to visit Wonwoo again after his surgery and they can talk about all the cool stuff he may or may not have seen while being under.

Later that night, Wonwoo wasn't so scared when a mask was placed over his mouth and he was asked to count backwards from ten. He didn't make it past eight when sudden heavy exhaustion guided him into a peaceful sleep.

Young Wonwoo's face remained calm, even when complications arose. Coincidentally, around then was when his grandmother had been rushed into emergency surgery, and the parents cried and pleaded with the universe for both the son and grandmother to come out ok. Only one prayer was answered.

When Wonwoo woke up, he knew something happened to his grandmother, and that was the very moment when he learned so early in life how unfair it was. Mingyu would be the only one he ever told how he saw his grandmother and felt her warm, endearing hug full of love and tears before he opened his eyes from the anesthesia. Years later, just as Mingyu was the one Wonwoo confided in about the vision, he also spoke of the penetrating guilt he felt for it. Because, deep down, he knew it was his grandmother who saved him and went on, taking his place.