B I T T E R S W E E T.

TWO

Another day had passed, the walk on the way home was silent, not comfortable silent, awkward silent.

silence engulfed the walk, even an extroverted person would feel odd with how silent it is, you're by yourself, trudging across the sidewalk
With a solemn expression on your face.

See, no matter how well-known or famous you are, you feel alone; isolated from the real world, it's sad, really.

No one understanding you is something that you experience, you want to be just like a normal human, to be treated like an equal is what you wish.

continuously walking home, you hadn't noticed someone following your footsteps, too lost in your head to be aware with your surroundings, that is until someone tapped on your shoulder and brought you back to reality.

"(Name), you know you shouldn't be walking home alone!" It was Reo, a person you've known ever since you were a toddler.

"I know, I know!" you scratched your head with a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes, "I didn't want to bother anyone" he chuckled, arms wrapping around your shoulder, "You never bother me, (name)-chan!"

His heartfelt chuckle made your defense falter for a second, it went back up as fast as it faltered, you scolded yourself internally.

'do not lower your guard, not even for a second.'

"Is everything alright?" he looked at you with concern, before thinking, "wait are you uncomfortable with this?!" He immediately unhooked his arms around you and profusely bowed

"Forgive me, (name)-chan!" he cried, not seriously though, more like comically. You couldn't help but giggle at him.

"you're so adorbs!" you tucked a loose hair behind your ear, chortling at his apology.

you clasped his hand, looking at him longingly, "it's fine, I don't mind!" he gaped at his hands held by you, as if he couldn't believe what happened.

you got a good look on him, he was somewhat panting and you can feel his hands get clammy and sweating.

"Reo..?" he was not moving, not a single inch, "Are you okay?" and he fell down.

"wha-?!"

💫𓍼ֶָ֢⊹ ࣪ ˖

Reo woke up twenty minutes later, he tried to remember what happened, he was still feeling dizzy and lightheaded.

as he stood up, he glanced at his nightstand with a note on it, he could recognized who it was from afar, to confirm, he got a closer look and he's correct.

Take care of yourself, alright? is what was written, with little doodles around it, and a treat you made.

Now, you receive more than you give, this is why he felt his heart swell, this is special to him, nothing can beat it.

he glanced at the treat, he's more than willing to help you anyway he can, no matter how the cost, that's a promise to himself.

He laid back on his bed, reminiscing about the good memories he had with you, just the thought of those made him giggle and kick his feet like a highschool girl in love.

He wishes he had the confidence to go up and ask you out, but he knew, he knew you already had a lot on your plate, so he didn't.

You can say he's conflicted about his own emotions, well, it's normal right?
is it normal to not get your emotions in check?

It definitely is normal, you probably also have the same problem as him, he just knows it.

But, do you really have the same problem as him? or maybe he just thought of that to make his self feel better?

He doesn't know,it's bothering him very much, and he has no clue how to get rid of it. Believe it or not, he tries his best to shrug it off.

Now, instead of refreshing good memories, he's just reopening those wounds of his. Again, he is completely clueless on why he does that, and he hopes that you can be the answer.

💫𓍼ֶָ֢⊹ ࣪ ˖

Changing into a more comfortable attire, you kept your things organized as they should be. Messy stuff bothers you so much, that's why you do your absolute best to keep it neat.

Even though you keep your things neat and organized, your mind isn't.
Your thoughts are always scattered all over the place, it isn't just simple thoughts, it's full of resent and negative, you hate it, you despise it. But at the same time, you were amazed on how you haven't spilled anything, you haven't spilled every ounce of your bottled up emotions.

But here you are, wondering where it all went wrong.

You keep telling yourself that, it doesn't matter, nothing does. Yet, you take everything seriously, resulting more pain inflicted on you, if only you don't give everything a meaning, maybe it would hurt less.

It's already late, and you can't sleep, your mind has kept you up again. It should stop, you know how to stop it, you just... can't. You definitely attempted many times, but, you just can't.

And you're just there, you feel like you're just watching how the world processes; you feel like a spectator, you can't hear nor feel anything. you simply feel numb.

You'd rather be dead than anyone catch you like this, it's gonna damage your pride, and most importantly; your image. If you have a bad image, everyone will treat you differently, however, it's just the same as having a good image, everyone still treats you differently.

it disgusts you, it disgusts you to the fact that, you feel like you'd throw up the dinner you just ate, as well as the "compliments" people had gave you.

You shifted in you bed trying to find the right position, again, and again, and again. Why couldn't you just find the right one?

The more you turn and twist on your bed, the less you can actually sleep, you were happy it's Friday, so there's no school tomorrow, only homeworks.

'whatever,' you scoffed internally, 'I can just pretend to not feel good.'  you're such a hypocrite, you hate people put on a façade just to be liked by others, but here you are doing the exact same thing you claim to despise.

you deceive people just to please them, and also get their validation, how ironic.