He laid there for a moment, not knowing what he should do.
The room was dark, but he could see the shapes of things. The walls were painted grey. The furniture was black and shiny. It reminded him of his old apartment back in Boston, if you disregarded the fact that it didn't match anything else here.
“Bastard.” He muttered under his breath to himself.
What exactly was he supposed to do with his life?
He looked down at his own hands as they lay motionless beside him on the mattress.
It took about two seconds to figure out where all his anger had gone. He didn't even need to look around him to know where. Just one quick glance over his shoulder showed him where.
In the other bed, his roommate slept peacefully, somehow, while Harry lay awake, unable to sleep for some reason or another. They've been arguing since the early hours of the morning.
Harry's thoughts went back to his conversation with Tom earlier today. He still didn't really understand how he could sleep after everything they've argued about. But he couldn't blame him. He deserved that. That said, it would probably take a long, long time before either of them would talk to each other again, so it wouldn't come as a big surprise if their friendship was never quite the same, either.
That wasn't why he was so annoyed, though...
He sighed loudly into the empty space above him, then closed his eyes.
Tom's words echoed in his ears.
"This is why things always go so wrong for you, Cuz you're just a self-centered bastard."
Harry tried not to let those words hurt because, like hell, he was being a self-centred bastard. It's just that the world hadn't worked out right for them lately... And now, Tom seemed intent on reminding him of the truth.
At least he knew this was all for the best. He knew once Tom made up his mind, he was sticking to it. If he ever did anything to change his mind, however, Tom wasn't gonna let him know.
After all, it had been his fault in the first place.
If only he hadn't gotten so drunk last night.... Or if he hadn' t let that stupid, little dare become too much. If only he'd told anyone the truth instead of just drinking alone. If only Tom hadn't d been such an arrogant jerk. If only....
But there weren't any second chances; no going back. This was what he needed to accept and move on with his life. No use crying over spilled milk, as the saying goes.
Sighing one last time, Harry sat upright in the uncomfortable bed and swung his legs off the edge.
A knock sounded from the front door, followed by a voice. "Are you gonna open that door?" A voice shouted from behind.
Hearing this, Harry groaned aloud. He stood up unsteadily and made his way over to the front door of their dorm room.
"Yeah, I'll be right there," he called back through the barrier separating their rooms and the kitchen area, trying to keep his balance.
The front door opened up a few minutes later, and Vanessa walked inside. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, but strands escaped from their confines and fell in loose curls over her shoulders. She had a couple of books in her arms and wore a loose, grey sweatshirt over a pair of jeans lightly tucked into her boots.
"Hi, Harry! Are you coming to study?" she asked.
Harry nodded tiredly. "Yeah." His head was pounding, and he wished he hadn't downed so much alcohol last night.
Vanessa smiled. She liked Harry a lot, it was no secret. But Harry was oblivious to it. His self-centered mind had kept automatically blocking all her advances, but she never gave up. She'd been pestering Harry for months now, but he never noticed. And every time she failed, she felt even more desperate.
After a little small talk, Harry got his bag, and both of them left for the library to study.
---
The library was nearly empty when the two friends arrived. Only one table remained occupied by a group of college students. One of the boys had his head in his hands while his friend talked animatedly to a group of people sitting across the table.
They began making their way down the aisles to find some quiet spot.
"Can we sit over there?" Harry asked, pointing toward a small table next to a window.
"Sure."
Once they reached the table, Vanessa dropped her books onto it and took the seat facing Harry, who sat with his back to the library hall.
She leaned close and said softly,
