AITA? Reaction

13. Turning teenage niece away at the door.

AITA For turning my teenage niece away at the door and telling my sister to wake up because of how my niece treats my own daughter?

Let's see if she really treats her bad or if you are overreacting.

My sister Teresa has a sixteen year old daughter Quinn. “Quinn” and I used to be very close when she was younger, and loved having auntie-niece time together. However, since becoming a teenager, Quinn has become very snarky and sarcastic in a mean way.

I particularly don’t like the way she behaves towards my own daughter Bella (she is six.) Quinn crosses the line. A particular episode of verbal cruelty at a birthday party was when I’d had enough and told Quinn “I don’t want you to come over until you can start being nice to Bella.” Teresa was present when I said this.

I thought you were about to tell the episode.

I hope you will 'cause it's an important context.

We live a short walk away from each other. A few days ago, Quinn arrived and wanted dinner,

I'm confused.

Why would she come uninvited to your house demanding dinner?

and I turned her away at the door and told her “I don’t like how you treat my daughter. Unless it is an emergency, you are not welcome over.”

Teresa called me because she said I was a horrible person for turning Quinn away because she is sixteen and my niece was upset.

Ok, but why was she there?

Do you feed your child?

(Teresa has stopped trying to do anything serious about Quinn’s verbal attitude and has justified it in the past with statements along the lines of “That’s just how some teenagers are,” “It’s a teen thing. Teenagers shouldn’t be treated like young children,”

So they can face the consequences of their actions like all the adults.

or “Quinn’s almost an adult. It’s not your place to parent her like some child.”

That's why they are treating her like an adult.

I brought up Teresa’s past words and told her she is correct that Quinn is an adult who doesn’t need to be scolded by me. And I have a right to protect my child from an unkind adult.

That's it dude!

Quinn is already having issues with the school emailing home or friends making excuses for why they don’t want to see her.

And mommy is still defending her...

And it’s time to Teresa to wake up and do something about her daughter.

Quinn will end up isolated by everyone if she keeps going like this.

Teresa and I have both given our sides to mutual friends and acquaintances, and they are divided. Some are saying that Quinn’s attitude is not okay, but I was wrong to turn her away at the door because she’s still sixteen and my niece.

I still don't understand why she was there uninvited and expecting food.

I know I have already said it three times, but I really can't understand the entitlement to go to someone else home and demanding food.

They said being a teenager and rapidly going from childhood to adulthood is already a rough transition.

It is, but it's not an excuse to treat people bad.

Her friends are at the same position as her and they don't want to hang out with Quinn either.

And according to Teresa, Quinn appears to be having issues at school,

I wonder why.

and I should try to have more patience with her and see what may be going on outside of home.

Regardless of the reason, I feel I had to set a hard boundary with Quinn’s behavior.

True.

It isn’t an easy time, but at sixteen, you still know right from wrong.

That's true.

And Bella doesn’t deserve to be subjected to that kind of treatment. But are my friends/acquaintances correct that I was too hard on my niece and sister and should apologize for how I responded to them?

Nope.

So... I read the comments.

This is the one explaining what Quinn says.

Quinn's snarky comments have included name-calling. "Baby," "annoying," "brat," were common examples.

It has also included insulting Bella's interests with comments along the lines of, "That's stupid" or a belittling "Wow, she thinks she's a little princess, let's see how long that lasts"

Duh, she's six.

It's not strange to think to be a princess at that age.

Quinn was the instigator in each of these cases. She seemed to think she was being clever.

There are also cases when Quinn will not express a "no" respectfully. An example was when we were all at my parents' house due to a power outage in our neighborhood and the girls needing to attend online classes.

Bella wanted to show Quinn a bug outside, and instead of nicely saying something such as "Hey, I'm actually in class right now, but I can look with you later," Quinn snapped at her to "Screw off" and refused to apologize sincerely.

Girl...

The issue is Quinn's refusal to behave towards Bella in a respectful way.

He also said that he's willing to forgive her IF she gave his daughter a sincere apology and that the reason she went to their house it's because they make a special dish during Sunday and Quinn wanted some.

NTA.

Taken from:

r/AmItheAsshole
u/TooHardOnMyFamily