"Nah, I'm just smelling youtube"
"Why are u smelling youtube-"
"I'm like mister crabs without the crabs!"
"So your mister?"
"Oh wait I just remembered it wont work I'm not white"
"Is it bad I'm only staring at the titties?"
"AND WHY IS THERE STILL SNOW IN FEBURARY!?"
"Shut up, Adam. Your ego is bigger than your dick"
"I had a dream I was Ed Sheeran.
Singing barbie girl ontop of spinning guacamole bowl."
"But their enemies their not supposed to hug!"
"I don't care I will MAKE THEM HUG."
"It makes for a good killing spree!"
"......I mean your not wrong"
"No, no, imagine your hiding in the washing machine—the killer sees you but pretends not to see you and turns the washer on, what'chu bouta do?"
"Then your dead, straight up just dead."
"I ate a sticky note, it tasted like sandpaper—an orange sticky note to be exact."
"Why do you know what that taste like?"
"We don't talk about that."
"Yes we do."
"Why he kinda thick tho?"
"IKR RIGHT—FRONT AND BACK!"
"No I didn't just read an entire story on ao3 and then figure out it's also on wattpad and read the entire story there, NO!"
"Dude- I licked my skin and bro sandpaper *lick* *moan*"
"When did I take my shirt off!?"
"Your shirts off?.....POP A TITTY!"
"The man in the corner is molesting me again"
"Wdym again-no, he molested me first >:|
"Scientifically.. accurate..catdog!"
"Scientifically.. accurate..catdog!"
"AYYYYYEEE-"
"Just heard a creepy ass laugh come from the basement..I can't tell if that was my dad or some weird clown."
"if your brother wasn't born I would be writing stuff on your thighs right now"
"W h a t-"
"My bad broskie I was busting the hardest nut"
"Wait whose gonna divorce us we don't have lawyers"
"Did you call me Jake from statefarm?"
"Wow, so your going full femboy mode, huh?"
"It's just a video of him holding an apple??"
"Yeah, but he's being hot while doing it, ERRORRR"
Pov my family seeing me at any time before 7-10pm:"What the fuck—I thought that thing only comes out at night?"
Me who just wanted a snack:"YOU GUYS SAW ME YESTERDAY MORNING???"
"Stop choking on your water."
"Stop drowning in your water."
"Don't spit out your water on the floor, use the damn corridor"
"My feet are soggy"
"WHY ARE YOUR FEET SOGGY???"
"Turn around, bucko."
"You spin me right round baby right round like a—AHAUDMDISKDKFKDJD'
"Game theory sucks."
"You just offended every game theory fan in existence."
"You just offended every British in existence im gonna have to write you up."
Derek: *Calls me*
Me: *answers*
Derek: "I would like to proudly announce I threw up a booger."
Me:"PFFT—HAH
Derek: *talking abt something*
Me: *aggressive goldfish eating noises*
Derek:"COULD YOU NOT-"
YOU ARE READING
The ungodly incorrect quotes full of spelling mistakes and crackshit whores
HumorAka me and Nick on hard crack/j Also known as the yappening book where I yap abt stupid shit and do stupid stuff and sillies and hehehehwheh
