"How you gonna be taller than me, and act like fizzarolli and how am I gonna be shorter than u and act like Asmodeus"
"Why is there so much tenticale porn?"
"Mother, MOTHER—I crave those frosting cookies from the grocery store no one likes but buys anyways."
"if your brother wasn't born I would be writing stuff on your thighs right now"
"W h a t-"
"My bad broskie I was busting the hardest nut"
"Wait whose gonna divorce us we don't have lawyers"
"Did you call me Jake from statefarm?"
"Wow, so your going full femboy mode, huh?"
"It's just a video of him holding an apple??"
"Yeah, but he's being hot while doing it, ERRORRR"
Pov my family seeing me at any time before 7-10pm:"What the fuck—I thought that thing only comes out at night?"
Me who just wanted a snack:"YOU GUYS SAW ME YESTERDAY MORNING???"
"Stop choking on your water."
"Stop drowning in your water."
"Don't spit out your water on the floor, use the damn corridor"
"My feet are soggy"
"WHY ARE YOUR FEET SOGGY???"
"Turn around, bucko."
"You spin me right round baby right round like a—AHAUDMDISKDKFKDJD'
"Game theory sucks."
"You just offended every game theory fan in existence."
"You just offended every British in existence im gonna have to write you up."
Derek: *Calls me*
Me: *answers*
Derek: "I would like to proudly announce I threw up a booger."
Me:"PFFT—HAH
Derek: *talking abt something*
Me: *aggressive goldfish eating noises*
Derek:"COULD YOU NOT-"
YOU ARE READING
The ungodly incorrect quotes full of spelling mistakes and crackshit whores
Hài hướcAka me and Nick on hard crack/j Also known as the yappening book where I yap abt stupid shit and do stupid stuff and sillies and hehehehwheh
