Synonyms For Better

Chapter 18 - A Pop Song Stuck on Repeat

I DIDN'T KNOW if it was indigestion or what but I couldn't seem to sit still at home. 

Like, there I was, casually minding my own business, trying to forget about him. Him-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named because I was trying to get him out of my thoughts, after all. You know, the dark-eyed, annoyingly charming guy who somehow had decided to take up residence in my poor little heart, and that too without rent. Like, how dare he?!

Well, my plan for the day was to mentally erase my little crush through proven lethal distraction tactics. Aunt Cheryl was out for the day running errands, so I had the house to myself, and I figured I would do something mundanely time-consuming like reorganize the clothes I'd hung in the closet in my room. Here was my calculation: 

[distraction + colour-coding my linty hoodies  = me forgetting about how Finn looked in that black jacket of his]

Smart, right?

...Spoiler alert: It didn't work. 

I found myself folding and refolding the same shirt over and over again, my brain happily (and treacherously) replaying that one time when Finn had caught me tripping over nothing and smiled that infuriatingly perfect smile. 

I was whipped. 

I put my clothes away, sitting tiredly on the cute pink barstool chair by the window. I suddenly missed Jolene and Renzo, too. If they were home right now, we would have gone out somewhere together, or we might have stayed home and played the world's craziest game of charades. You know what? Not even that; even if we were forced to sit silently together in the house, it would still be fun. I laughed to myself, imagining us sitting in different corners of the house and trying to communicate via bat-signal or something equally ridiculous. 

I then thought of Finn, and how it would be if he were here. Especially because I was all alone at home anyway...

Wait, what?! Ctrl, alt, and delete those thoughts, please.

One of these days I really was going to cartwheel myself into oncoming traffic because I couldn't handle what my brain was spewing at me.

But for now, I pulled my blushing self away from the windowsill seat and instead decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. Fresh air and all that, right? Perhaps it would help. 

Feeling the slight wind tousle my hair and soothe my skin, I walked down the winding sidewalks and narrow streets. I ended up at Lillian's house, where she immediately roped me into staying for a while, and her family was happy to have me over. 

I met her sister, Alexa, who was practicing playing a now-familiar guitar. I smiled to myself at the memories I'd made, almost a month ago, was it?

One month, to develop a raging crush on a certain somebody and finally realize it.

Oh shut up, brain.

I pushed my thoughts away, focusing on Lillian's chatter. "You have got to see this," she grinned before showing me her latest sketch: something that looked like a cross between a unicorn and a dragon. It was actually very detailed, but I was trying to figure out which part was the horn and which was the tail when Lillian proudly pointed out to me her little figurines lined up on the coffee table. One of them was missing a leg, and for some reason —some crazy and absolutely far-fetched reason— it instantly reminded me of Finn's clumsy attempt at balancing three cups of coffee the other day in the train. I couldn't help but picture him fumbling, spilling coffee everywhere but then flashing that goofy smile that somehow had made the mess seem so charming.