random things

love is insane.

"i love you." love? i don't think i believe in love. hes older so he knows better.

"im feeling quite.. silly rn. can you help me?"
silly? whats that mean?

"you're a very pretty boy." he sees me as a boy!

"i think i really like you." but.. your 18.. im only 12.

"you have to keep this a secret, buddy." i dont like secrets.

"i promise i'll love you forever, i'd never hurt you." he promised, i'll be okay.

"can you send me some photos?" i really dont wanna..

"you said you love me. why cant you help me, its just a few photos." a few shouldnt hurt.. right?

"hey, bud. i know i said a few but, can you send more? i need them" i dont like this at all.

"you can't leave me. i'll do something real bad if you do." you used me.

"i love you, you know that." no, you love control.

"can you help me? im having trouble feeling better." i cant anymore. my mom found out.

"baby, please. i told you i would do something bad if you don't." my mom hurt me..

"listen to me, not her. i own your body, sweet boy." but.. i never agreed to that. but he still sees me as a boy..

"youre so precious, my love. how about a video today?" he loves me so its okay..

"im sorry but ive started seeing someone else. i cant speak to you anymore." but.. he promised not to leave..

"its been a while huh? i miss you, she's gone now." its been 5 months..

"i always thought of you. youre a very lovely girl." girl? but.. im a boy.

"can you send for me? it's been too long." i feel gross.

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i know this doesn't make much sense, but it's something that i had to go through. i dealt with it for 3 years, from ages 12-15. i knew it was wrong, but at first he saw me as a boy and i felt happy. even after he started referring to me as a girl i couldnt leave him. he made me feel special, yeah it sucked, but i was convinced that he loved me. i wish i could go back in time and stop myself he made me do bad things to myself, things i cant erase, and i didn't state even half of what happend in those three years, but it really messed me up. just be careful with who you talk to, and please stay safe.