" But, You Aren't a Girl... "

Oh, Taichi, My Love..

Hayato's POV:

I've always been in love with this boy from my team.. Since the moment I've laid my eyes on him.. Oh, Gosh.. he's so beautiful..

One day, at practice, I was trying to show Kawanishi how much I liked him. I was more affectionate than usual, hanging around Kawanishi like he was the only person on earth. I don't think he enjoyed it much, though. He was ignoring me.. almost all practice. The only time he would ever sputter a word to me was when it was his call, and he called my name. I missed the hit. Not because I was feeling bad or anything, just because my eyes were on Kawanishi.

"O-Oh.. I'm sorry.."

I muttered softly, feeling everyone's eyes on me. The ball rolled to my feet. Reluctantly, I bent over, grabbing the ball. I handed it to the person closest to me. Sort of embarrassed, I walked off the court, trying to keep my tears in as I heard them yelling at me for missing my hit. "You CLEARLY could've hit that," I heard some say, while others were just sighing and pinching the bridge of their nose.

Suddenly, I felt someone looking down at me.

"What WAS that, out there?"

Kawanishi scolded, obviously upset that I missed his perfect pass. His words were filled with aggressive and agitation, practically piercing through my skin as I spoke.

"I-I DON'T know, Kawanishi.. My eyes were on you, not the ball.."

I admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed since Kawanishi KNEW that I liked him. Hell, I'm pretty sure that the WHOLE team knows that I like Kawanishi. "It's painfully obvious," many people have said. It's true, though. I seem to look at him differently, with a more.. gentle look. Everyone else says I look angry when I look at them.

"Yeah? Well, next time, FOCUS ON THE BALL."

Kawanishi demanded aggressively, assuring that I don't take my eyes off the ball.

"R-Right.. I'll do better.."

I managed to mutter, a shaky breath escaping my throat. Next thing I know, I was back on the court, Kawanishi suggested that we try to do that hit again. Ushijima, our captain, agreed, deciding that we wouldn't get better if we didn't try.

Over and over, I missed the ball. It was already overtime, so we had to call practice early today. Right as I got home, I stumbled over to my bed. "Yeah, well, next time, FOCUS ON THE BALL," was constantly repeating in my mind as I flopped onto my bed. I closed my eyes, trying to ease my stress. Suddenly, I heard my phone ringing.

"Kawanishi..?"

I thought to myself, answering the phone in a heartbeat.

["H-Hey, Kawanishi.."]

I stuttered over the phone, listening to his words.

["Practice tomorrow, me and you, three-thirty, don't be late. We're gonna work on that hit that YOU keep missing."]

Kawanishi spoke. I could feel his eyes pierced with anger through the phone.

["Y-Yes, sir.. Yes, K-Kawanishi.."]

I corrected myself. I was about to sputter something else until Kawanishi hung up. Sighing, I laid back down. There was something about Kawanishi lately. He's become more aggressive towards me.

The next morning, I woke up and got dressed. I walked into the bathroom, turning the faucet on. I began to brush my teeth, almost completely forgetting about the whole practice thing that Kawanishi told me to come to until I got a notification and looked at the time. I never wake up this late, so it's weird for me to worry about time management.

"Fuck! Three twenty-five!? I'm gonna be late!"

I thought to myself, quickly washing my toothbrush and mouth before putting shoes on and rushing out of the door.

Finally, I made it to the gym where Kawanishi instructed I'd meet him. Huffing, I put my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath after running almost the whole way.

"You were almost late."

Kawanishi stated, looking down at me as I attempted to catch my breath.

"Y-Yes, I'm.. sorry."

I sputtered between breaths, looking up at Kawanishi before bowing, a very breathy apology slipping from my mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just start already."

Kawanishi demanded, walking over to the volleyball court. I rushed over to my spot on the court, determined to change my focus and master this hit. No matter what I did, though, I couldn't shift my focus away from Kawanishi. He even scolded me about it a few times until he'd had enough of me missing the hit.

"Why, Hayato? Why are you missing the ball when it's PERFECTLY aligned with your hands?"

Kawanishi started, his hands on his hips as he looked down at me.

"Because I-.. because I LOVE you, Kawanishi."

I confessed, butterflies in my stomach as I felt his gaze. He chuckled, but then his face went expressionless almost immediately.

"Oh, you're serious?"

Kawanishi asked, thinking that I was joking.

"Y-Yes.. I've always loved you, Kawanishi, since the moment I walked into the gym for the first time and laid my eyes on you."

I confessed once again, feeling my heartbeat starting to quicken.

"But.. you're not a girl."

Kawanishi told me, his voice monotone and serious.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

I stuttered, knowing exactly what he meant. I didn't wanna believe it. I didn't wanna believe that Kawanishi thought it wasn't okay for boys to like boys. Then, my worst nightmare happened. Right as I thought about it, those words left his mouth.

"Boys cannot like boys, Hayato. The feeling will pass."

The words pierced through my heart. I felt my eyes start to fill with tears as Kawanishi told me that my feelings would pass. That's what I told myself, too, but the feelings never passed.

"W.. What?"

I stuttered in disbelief, Kawanishi's words repeating in my mind. Boys CAN like boys. There's nothing wrong with it. I mean, maybe it is a little weird, but there's nothing wrong with it!

Oh, Taichi, my love..