My fucking heart

Chapter 17

Ana

Jasmin, Raphael and I entered this fancy cocktail bar, which Jasmin and I wanted to visit for a long time. The ambience is nothing special actually, they just serve a waaaay larger range of cocktails than other bars we have tried before. And let me tell you that Jasmin and I love cocktail-tasting.

We roamed through the bar in search of a good spot to sit – best case at a corner and far away from other people. Wouldn't want anyone to listen in our interesting conversation about data bases or rising figures. Note the sarcasm.

After finding our perfect table at the back of the room, we ordered our drinks. While Jasmin and I chose two different fancy cocktails, Raphael settled on his usual beer.

"Boring!" Jasmin exclaimed jokingly, but soon her laughter died down due to Raphael's warning glare.

Jasmin couldn't let it go and thanked me for the 100th time for my help concerning the Mayer case. She wanted me to tell her everything that happened and how the heated discussion with Mr. Mayer went. To ease her curiosity, I told her every detail about our conversation from start to the end, but I left out his personal insults regarding herself. I knew Jasmin could have taken them, but it's not necessary to quote such stupidity out loud and eventually to lower her self-esteem by that. He was shown his limits, which he will hopefully stick to.

I even enjoy my time here together with Raphael. At first, I had doubts about spending time with my boss outside working hours, but I have to say that I really enjoy it. Sitting together while sipping fruity beverages and talking about our daily grinds got me more comfortable with every minute passing by.

Raphael is not quiet the talker. Most of the time he just listened to Jasmin's and my stories, while looking pretty casual and laid-back. He only talked when a question was thrown directly at him, but he always knew what was going on, so I knew that he did actually listen to our conversation.

As the bartender served us our second round of drinks, a phone started to ring loudly. "Sorry guys, I have to get that." Jasmin excused herself as she stood up and left the bar through the large door to the outside area, where she could take the phone call undisturbed.

Focusing back on our table, I realized that now it's just the two of us left. Without Jasmin – the linking guidance in our little group - it feels strange being here with Raphael all alone, the table suddenly feels so much smaller than before. He sits across from me with his beer in his hand and his eyes locked on me. He is not moving, not initiating a conversation to bypass Jasmin's absence and to avoid falling into an awkward silence. But the look on his face seems like he does not find it awkward at all. He is enjoying the silence between us, looking comfortable and relaxed.

I, on the other hand, like to talk. I like to interact with other people, doesn't matter if I do or do not know them. I rarely fall silent, considering that there's always something to talk about. So I searched my brain, looking for a good topic.

"Hm, isn't the company's big collection campaign taking place today at the Rathausplatz for the earthquake in Turkey?" I asked curiously. Given that he is the head of QueQue Raf, he surely knows what's going on around here.

His eyes are roaming my face. "Yes." he simply answered, not responding anything further. A simple Yes, wow. Checking his features, I wouldn't say that he is annoyed or angry, it's just the way he is. He is giving me facts and doesn't see a reason to drag the topic out unnecessarily.

I, however, was sliiighty different. "As the leading manager, you're not there at all?" I dug deeper, trying to get him to talk. Maybe he just needs a little push.

„No." he responded.

I slumped back into my chair. Small talk really isn't his strong point. Why would he ask me to come anyway, if he is not interested in having a decent conversation with me?

I turned around and looked at the entrance, checking if Jasmin is returning or not. At least she is willing to interact with me.

„I am on vacation this week." he suddenly told me. My gaze fell back on him, surprised he opened up to me about this. I can work with that.

„Vacation? Didn't know head managers have something like that." I answered and added a touch of sarcasm into it, as my lips formed to a grin. This seems to amuse him, because he started to grin as well. „Yeah, weird things happen sometimes."

I giggled at his playful answer. There we go! Keep going!

„So you've got any plans?" I interrogated him while pinching one or two peanuts from the shell in front of us. He is watching me intently as he answered. „Nothing big. Spending time with my family, I guess." he spoke, sounding calm.

What a beautiful answer. I smiled at him. „I bet Jasmin will be happy to hear that." I responded warmly, careful not to mention the rest of his family too much, as family could be a sensitive subjects. It's an unspoken boundary I do not want to cross.

„What do you like to do on your days off?" he suddenly asked, making me look at him with big surprised eyes. I didn't expect such a direct question coming from him, but I've got that little tingling feeling in my stomach that tells me how much I like the attention he is giving me.

He watched me closely as he imitated me and snatched a peanut from the shell for himself, his eyes never leaving mine. „Hm, let me see. Besides my work I spend most of my time doing fitness. I like working out and trying new things. Getting myself inspired by people, you know." I told him a little about myself.

His gaze was on me the whole time, scanning my face and listening thoughtfully. His piercing eyes on me were kinda making me nervous, but I also enjoyed his interest in me, that he is showing clearly. Driven by his attention I continued talking. „I love cooking as well. I am a passionate eater." I giggled as I told him about my all time favorite recipe from my grandmother - her famous chocolate cake with coconut glaze. Heavenly.

His features softens noticeably, as I told him about such intimate parts of my life. „I am also a real bookworm. No book is safe from me." I laughed. „Starting with action, through drama to my absolute favorite genre: fantasy."

Amused he raised an eyebrow. „Fantasy?" he asked, making sure he heard it right.

I nodded. „Yeah. That's one of the best things about reading. You immerse yourself in a world, in which everything looks and happens like you imagine it in your head. You are your own director." I smiled at him sweetly, which he returned with a rather rough smile, but it stills looks good on him, considering I've never seen him smile at all before.

„If a bunch of people read the same book and each of them had to draw the book in a single picture, then not a single one would appear twice." I tried to explain my point of view to him understandably, but I am quite okay with my try.

„That's the best thing about books. For me." I added one last time, before my gaze fell onto him, scanning his features. He studies my face as if he could read my mind if he looked hard enough. The whole thing has taken a more serious turn than originally planned. To lighten the topic, I added. „Then it doesn't really matter whether it's about normal people like you and me, or magicians, dragons and mythical creatures." I started giggling, which made him smile as well. I watched him closely as he reacted to my personal story like that. He has a beautiful face doing that.