My fucking heart

Chapter 19

Ana

It's Friday evening. I am already sitting on my couch in a comfortable outfit and a cup of coffee in my hand as I told Jasmin about my date from yesterday night.

His name was Max. Max is a good acquaintance of one of my work colleagues who wanted to set me up with her friend for a long time. So far I've still gotten out of this cleanly, but this time one excuse after another got exposed, which is why I ended up having no choice but to go on a date with him.

He is cute, no doubt. With his long blonde hair tied back and his height, he bore a resemblance to Karius Loris.

He is nice to look at, but he also has a strong resemblance to my ex - Kai. Not in appearance, but rather in character. Kai and I were together for three years. Everything was going well between us. We had common plans and the same visions of how we imagined our future together.

But Kai got into the wrong circles because of his job change. He began drinking and using drugs regularly. At first I didn't see the problem because I wanted him to feel comfortable in his new job. He was supposed to make contacts that hopefully would lead to friendships.

It was only later that I found out that during their "important" team meetings they got rat-arsed with all sorts of stuff, so his money wasn't enough anymore which was why he was already partially looting my coffers.

Because of the amount of alcohol he was constantly consuming, he eventually became quite aggressive. He no longer treated me the way he usually did. I was no longer a priority in his life.

I finally ended things with him when I caught him in our bed with our neighbor. In OUR bed. That thing really broke somthing inside of me. It wasn't an easy time, but I knew the Kai I loved was no longer there. No matter what I tried, no matter how much I wanted to help him, I had no chance.

Even though Kai and I had good times together and I no longer hated him as much as I once did, I still find it difficult to let myself fall. And even though my current date - Max - is a really cute guy, I feel uneasy just imagining that he was anything like Kai. Maybe that was unfair of me, but I certainly didn't want to get caught up in something like that again. If I notice such signs on the first date, I didn't know whether I wanted a second date.

I also spoke openly about it with Max. I wanted to be honest with him. He thought it was a shame, but wanted to give me the time I needed. We left it at that: I would contact him if I would like to see him again. He would love that very much.

Jasmin knows my history with Kai, which is why she immediately understood why I probably didn't want to meet him again. She said that at some point my prince will come and turn my world upside down. I don't believe it until I see it.

As I was about to put my phone aside, I suddenly received another message. A foreign number. I opened it.

From Unknown: Ana, come over.

I found an address attached to it. I haven't heard of this street. Who's that?

From Ana: Do we know each other?

Who could have my phone number and wanted me to come over on Friday evening at 7:30 p.m.?After a few minutes I knew the answer. Raphael had my phone number und wanted me to come over on Friday evening at 7:30 p.m. Jasmin, Matt and Ben are there as well.

Although we've all always gotten along well, I still think it's cute that they invited me, even though we hadn't known each other for so long. Since we'll probably only be at Raphael's house today, I decided on a pair of simple boyfriend jeans and a white crop top, brown bag and brown Reeboks and off I go.

...

Raphael's apartment was only 7 minutes away by taxi. Crazy that I didn't know my boss lives so near by.

He lived in a good area. Practically unaffordable for normal employees, especially single ones. But running your own business also has its advantages, even if it costs a lot of time and nerves.

I rang the doorbell at the address Raphael sent me. After a few seconds the door opened and he was standing right there in front of me - Raphael.

He looked good. As always - dressed in all black. His dark eyes bore into mine as our gazes meet halfway, suddenly making me a bit nervous.

I smiled. "Hey Raphael, thanks for inviting me." I told him honestly and handed him a bottle of wine and homemade snacks. Food and drinks are the best gifts, my grandma always told me.

Raphael stood across from me and looked down at me. "Thanks." He suddenly spoke as he took the bottle of wine from me and stepped aside so I could enter. I felt this strange feeling in my stomach when I heard his deep voice. That's doing something to me.

I took off my shoes and looked around a bit. His apartment is really big. 90m2 on one level, I guess, and I saw stairs that probably led up to the 1st floor. You could see into his living room from the hallway, fucking big and spacious. He kept his furnishings very simple. Much to my 'surprise', his apartment appeared dark. Charcoal-colored furniture was everywhere and a dark couch in the middle of the living room. No decoration. There only are a few photos on the TV shelf.

Somehow the place suits him. "It's nice here." I told Raphael as I continued to look around his apartment. Since he didn't answer, I turned around to him. He had followed me and was now standing behind me. His large body is towering high above me, as his eyes studying my face carefully, as if I was an old acquaintance he hadn't seen in too long. I felt my cheeks blush lightly under his intense gaze. Oh man, hopefully he doesn't notice. I'm wondering what he is thinking.

To escape the electric tension between us, I quickly turned away from him and slowly walked towards the living room, where I assumed the others would be. I felt his strong presence behind me, which strangely made me a little excited.

"How long have you lived here?" I asked him calmly, trying to get him to talk. And to calm myself down.

He kept up with me because now he was standing next to me. "About three years." he answered, his voice sounding rough. Almost as if he hadn't spoken in a while. The combination of his raspy voice and the goosebumps that covered my skin caused my head to snap up to him. I was surprised at how my body subconsciously responded to him just because he said three words.

As soon as my eyes looked up at him, I realized he had turned his gaze to me again. Or still? It seemed as if he wanted to read something from my face. As if he had a question that he was hoping to get answered from my behavior.

Our eyes were locked on each other. Both of us had questions, but no one said anything. We didn't know each other well enough to be able to approach each other so openly.

Then we suddenly heard a loud, shouting voice. "Anaaaaa." Jasmin sang, all while dancing towards me and hugging me. Apparently there was already a party going on here. Immediately afterwards, Ben and Matt entered the room. "Pitbull." They also greeted me and smiled at me with glassy eyes.

Alright, they for sure have had a few drinks before I arrived.

"Look Ana, this is for you," Jasmin said and handed me a glass of wine. She grinned broadly at me as I thanked her, took the glass out of her hand and clinked it with hers.