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❄ Only Darkness Lies | Zellie ❄

Reviewed by : Zeliie Diverselyunique

Book Title: Only Darkness Lies

Author Name: Mahalaxmi

Title: The title is very thought of and goes with what your story is about. I have no complaints. I really like it. It really interprets the idea of darkness consuming or walking through the path of darkness or what darkness couple potentially hold or have on the characters.

Cover: Your cover is very simple and elegant, however even though I like it, I would love to see more of your book and what it's about on the cover, something eye-catching. A couple of examples I might give, you could have a shadow of a woman or you could add a weapon or a forest something that interprets more about what your book is about.

Blurb:
Your Blurb is very direct and makes the readers want to actually read and find out who killed her brother Aden. It's a very good Blurb and leaves people wanting to discover the mysteries of the book. 

Pace: Your book is way too fast moving, one paragraph something happens, then the next paragraph another thing happens. You need to remember that the first chapter of your book determines whether readers stay to read or decide otherwise. You need to do a proper transition between days and events. An example of this is in the beginning of the first three chapters. So many things happened in such a short space of time. The transition of Elvira's character changing is something that happened in seconds, you could have allowed your character to grieve and then allow her to be consumed slowly into finding the murderers of her brother, that way your readers could connect with Elvira and even sympathise with her and how fast things changed for her, allow people to love and care for her and what she's gone through. In the beginning of the book she gains powers which were so random, how could she trust a stranger like that? And also why would he give her all his powers? But then later in the book we understand everything when we find out from Marin, who turned out to be her mother, that the man who gave her the powers was in fact her father. It's so fast moving to when we get to the Troupe members situation. The context of your book is good, and it's there, only issue is that it's too fast moving,she was looking for the murderers but somehow got caught up so much in the Troupe. I'm just going to suggest that you make your transitions more strategically you can either use "__" or "***" or "^^" to go into the next day or next event.

Writing style.
I'd advise you go through your grammar and spelling errors. I came across a couple. Your chapters are short and I like that because seeing that it's a long chaptered book, it's good that you made the chapters very short. Also, put some space between your dialogues. An example is: "Come along with me, I'd like to show you something that means the world to me" "Sure I will"

Plot:
Your plot twist is very good, however I'd suggest that in Chapter 9 when Elvira had a conversation with Mr Shim, and she voiced out how Mr shim was behaving out of the normal, we as the readers put him on the list of suspects, which changes the whole aspect of a plot twist instead you could make it seem like Elvira really trusted Mr Shim and in the end we find out that he's the murderer just like how it turned out. So in a way, what I'm saying is that Elvira should not suspect him at all and just see him as an old man the whole village loves.

Plot twists

The man who gave her all his powers turned out to be her father(You could however give a small hint that would ride over people's heads because I believe it's the first time he's meeting his daughter after a long time, so as a father or parent you would love to leave a piece of you with your child. So you could allow the father to give her the necklace that's a small key, he could let her know that she'll need it and will know when to use it. The key could maybe unlock an old family house, or a box with all their childhood memories in it. I'm just suggesting) Marin: We find out at the end of book that the old woman turned out to be her mother, which wasn't surprising because Marin has cared for Elvira from the beginning so it was a happy ending for me because it made sense in a way and at least she has someone.Mr Shim: Mr Shim being the murderer also was a bit of a shock and his reason for killing just proved that he had nothing better to do with his life, the whole ideal had nothing to do with Aden or even him because the fight was between their fathers but anyways these things happen in real life.

Genre relevance:
Your book is an adventure as well as action, but another genre I believe it also falls under is mystery or mystical fiction.

Overall enjoyment: Your book is good, just needs a lot of editing, I need you to allow your character be in touch and aware of her emotions, Elvira is someone who seems she could be emotionally intelligent, allow her to show that side of herself so that the readers can relate, allow her to be aware of everything she's been through because in the end she finds love, she needs to love herself and acknowledge everything that she's been through other than that, I really liked your book.

Thank you for choosing me to be your reviewer.

Yours truly,
Diverselyunique