Still Breathing

Chapter 4: This Love

Bucky Pov present day 2022

Its lunch time, and I managed to escape my fathers lunch meeting today. I go to my office and sit at my desk. I open my briefcase and take out my doughnut. Just as I'm about to eat it, there is a knock on my door. Steve stick his head in the door and tells me to throw that disgusting doughnut in the trash. He tells me he order me a salad and sandwich. I just need to go to the lobby to get it.

I roll my eyes and say, okay. At least one of care about my diet. Not that, I'm out of shape. I still workout but I eat a lot of crap if I eat at all. I believe the word Nat used was 'beefy but in a good way." She also made it a point to tell me I should wear more henleys.

I head down to the lobby and the delivery guy is nowhere to be seen. I text Steve letting him know if this was a trick to get him to exercise, has a dick. No response. I wait a few minutes in the lobby and finally a guy walks up and says "Bucky Barnes?"

I smile at the man and hand him a tip. He gives me my lunch. I decide to sit on the bench and eat. I walk out into the courtyard and find an unoccupied table. I pull out the Cobb salad and turkey sandwich with just mustard. I sigh and instantly miss my doughnut. I open the water bottle and take a few sips. I half eat and half scroll social media on my phone. Then I see her. a picture of her and a man I vaguely recognize. I click to view profile and its private. There are only a few pictures and posts that is set to public and eat up all the information available.

The first picture is of her sitting by a fountain. I read the caption, its Latin Illegitimi non carborundum. Location The Trevi Fountain Rome, Italy. Date shows this was 6 months ago.

The next picture is of her Standing in front of a Gucci shop. Caption: Its time to take out the trash... weird caption seeing as she is wearing Gucci head to toe and holding a Gucci bag while standing in front of Gucci. Location: Milan Italy. Date shows 1 year ago.

The next picture is of her and some kids feeding ducks in a pond. caption: Save a ducks life and feed them frozen peas. location. Central Park, new York. Date shows, yesterday. I drop my phone. I squeeze my eyes shut. My head is spinning, and I think I might pass out.

After several minutes I pick my phone back up and I scroll to the last picture. Or at least I thought it was a picture. It's a video. She is sitting in the grass with the same kids in the last picture and they are decorating her hair with flowers. She is laughing and smiling and beautiful. I begin to cry as I watch the 15 second video over and over. just to hear her voice and see she is ok and happy fills me with joy and sadness. She has moved on. She's happy without me. I get up from my seat and throw my lunch away and go home.

Over the next several days, I obsess over the 3 pictures and 1 video. I pick apart everything. The way she stands, the way she looks into the camera, her surroundings. I eve try to figure out who is taking the picture. I don't eat and I barely sleep. when I do, I dreaming of her. my phone rings as I'm eating a doughnut and chasing it with whiskey and watching the 15 second video of her on repeat. Her laugh echoes through my quiet room. it's almost like she is here with me.

I look to see who's calling me, its Steve. I told him to spread the word that I was sick, but I knew he didn't believe me. he probably thought I was spiraling and wanted to give me time. But he wont let me spiral for too long before coming in to save me. I pick up the second time he calls, "Hello."

"checking on you." he says. sounds like he's eating. I check the time and then look out the window. Its noon. Lunch time.

"I'm fine man. I had a moment. But I'm better. I will be back in the office Monday." I say as I look at the picture of her at the Trevi fountain.