Still Breathing

Chapter 6: Hungry Heart

Bucky Pov present day 2022

It's been a week and I've returned to that park everyday looking for her. I'm starting to lose hope in ever seeing her again. I check her social media for anything new a few times a day but there's nothing. She's like a ghost. I can't believe I was so close and now nothing.

It's my lunch break and I'm wandering around the park. I know she isn't here. I've done numerous circles around the pond. her little friends aren't even here today. I sit on the same bench as before and watch the ducks. I huff into my hands as I run them down my face. I check the time and see my lunch actually ended 30 minutes ago.

I rest my face in my hands for several minutes. Then there is a tap on my shoulder. I look up to see the little girl from the picture. the woman with her says, "I'm sorry sir. We don't mean to bother you, she just really wanted to give you this flower. She thought it might cheer you up." she smiles shyly and looks apologetic.

I smile at the woman and the little girl and tell her, "I was feeling really sad, but this definitely turned my frown upside down. Thank you."

The little girl ask, "why?"

"I miss my friend." I pout dramatically and she giggles at my silly face.

"I'll be your friend." She says, it is so sweet, it makes my heart ache.

"Thank you, sweetheart." She hugs my arm and then the woman tells her it's time to leave. they both wave goodbye and I'm left alone. I look at the flower and twirl it between my fingers. A dandelion. I smile and think, now her little friend is mine too. And I'm that much closer to her.

Instead of returning to the office, I walk back to my apartment. I shower and get into something more comfortable. I make some spaghetti all while watching her page on my laptop waiting for any activity. I talk to my laptop willing it to do something. Once I'm done cook, I fix me a plate and grab myself a beer out the fridge. I sit at the counter and eat and look through her pictures and videos again.

This time I notice how they drastically change. At first, it feels happy. she looks to be enjoying Italy with her friend Wanda. then shortly after that, its pictures of her and this guy. At this point it's more of him recording her and taking pictures of her, whether she wants to or not. then nothing for months. When she returns, the pictures are shallow. Purses, shoes, things, views. Then again nothing for almost 2 months. then, pictures of her this guy at functions. In these pictures, she look far away. Like she is trying to disappear. Then again nothing until she post old photos. Then nothing until new York. Very off putting.

I shake it off and go back to refreshing the page every 30 seconds, until finally a new picture posts. A bouquet of Sterling roses on a dining table. And then another post pops up. a tiny vase filled with dandelions. I smile and glance over at the one given to me a few hours ago. Then a video. Its short. It's of her standing in a very small bathroom shaking her hair as flowers fall to the ground. so she was there today, I just happened to miss her. I watch the video over and over for the better part of the night.

***

The next morning, I wake up thinking about, how best to go about my plan. If I were to casually run into her, what would I say....How should I act... should I pretend like I don't see her and let her approach me. I shower and get dressed in a suit and tie like I'm going to work. that way, I can say, oh, I'm just out for some fresh air during my lunch break. That's all. I smile at how clever this feels.

When I arrive at the park I check the time. its 930 am. I begin my walk around the pond. the walk is slow and every now and then I would stop and pick a flower and then toss it in the pond. its not many people out here. mostly morning joggers. After 30 minutes I reach Marleys spot. I sit on the bench and just wait. At this point, I'm winging it. I don't know exactly what I'm waiting for but it's all I can do right now.