Still Breathing

Chapter 22: Where you are

Marley Pov present day 2022

For the first time in a really long time, I wake up feeling rested and at ease, calm and safe. I went to sleep with Bucky on my mind and I woke up today thinking of him. I worked very hard over the years to build walls to block him out. since coming back, I'm having a hard time keeping those walls up.
I can't get his words out of my head. he thinks it's something he did that caused me to leave. he felt like he didn't love me enough or do enough. What he doesn't know is he was my everything too and I've never felt more loved by anyone in my entire life. I hate myself for making him feel that way. and I hate the fact that I can never tell him why I had to leave.
I look out of the window and my mind wanders to what it was like to just be with him. I chuckle as I think about what he looked like in the mornings, eyes low and hair a mess. I miss his morning kisses and the way he could always find my lips even with his eyes closed.

I close my eyes and place my hand on my exposed stomach as I think about the days, I would wake up to his head resting on my stomach. I would just lay here and run my fingers through his soft hair until he woke up. I would give anything for just one day with him. but I know if I was given that, I wouldn't be able to let him go.
It takes me longer than usual to get out of bed. when I finally do, it's almost noon. I can't remember the last time I got up this late. I make a mental note, not to make this a habit. I walk into the kitchen, and I check the fridge for my breakfast. I roll my eyes when I see 1 hard-boiled egg and half a grapefruit.

I decide to go shower and get dressed before eating. The day is too beautiful, and my mind is too full of thoughts of bucky to stay cooped up in this prison. Once I'm done eating my horrible breakfast, I grab my purse keys and cell. But I'm stopped in my tracks when I see I have a text. I don't recognize the number. I open the message as I can't help but smile when I see its from bucky.
He says, don't be mad, I stole your phone number out of nats phone. I just wanted to say, it was great seeing you yesterday. It was almost like old times. I figure since we got through yesterday as friends, we should celebrate. I will be at your place at 9 am waiting to take you out on the town."

I check the time and its 1:07pm. I run out the front door. I take the elevator downstairs and practically run through the lobby. When I step outside, I don't see bucky anywhere. I stomp as I look around and I want to cry when I realize he gave up and went home.
"Hey there, Doll."

I turn back towards the entrance to see bucky coming out. a smile breaks out across my face, he closes the space between us.
"I just saw your message. I thought you gave up and...and..."

"I would wait forever for you."

For a minute I thought he might kiss me. but instead, he just takes my hand and ask, "are you hungry?"

Bucky takes me to lunch and then afterwards, we just walk and talk about everything. he ask me only about the good things about Italy and why I like the Maximoff's twins so much. we avoid talking about the breakup, my upcoming wedding and Stephen. He tells me that Wanda and Pietro has grown on him, and they would make a great addition to the group. we also talk about my short time in sokovia. He reminds me that his family is originally from Romania, and he teaches me a few phrases and bad words. And I teach him only the Italian bad words.

We eventually end up at the park and introduce him to my little friends. Apparently, he already knew one of them and he admitted to stalking me for a while. My little friends and I put flowers in his hair this time and we took a whole bunch of pictures. I'm hoping if I can give him this week. It can make up for what I've done to him and hopefully I can get the courage to tell him why.

After the kids go home, Bucky and I get ice cream and then head back to the park to feed the ducks. once it starts to get dark, Bucky walks me home. I'm not ready for our day to be over. I think he can see it on my face because he pulls me into a hug and says, "tomorrow 9am? it's your turn to take me out."
I smile and give him a small nod as I walk back into my prison.