Still Breathing

Chapter 26: Fix you

Steve Pov present day 2022

When I arrive at Bucky's apartment, I beat on the door for 30 min. "Come on Buck! Open up! I know you're in there!"

My phone dings and It's a text from Sam. He is telling me that I'm on my own this time. I shake my head as I place the phone back in my pocket and bang on the door again. "Bucky! don't make me kick this door down! you know I will do it!"

Finally, I hear the lock click. I push the door open, and I see bucky retreating body walking back over to the couch, where it looks like he's been for weeks.

I'm shocked at how clean the place is. I glance in the kitchen and the trash can is filled with liquor bottles. Other than that, its spotless. I make my way further in and the entire space is too clean. It smells stale in here with a hint of liquor. So, I walk over to the windows and open them. when I turn back to look at bucky his hair is a mess, and he hasn't shaved. He also looks as though he's lost weight.

I walk over to where he is and sit next to him. he doesn't look at me or even acknowledge my presence. He is just sitting here drinking whiskey straight from the bottle looking at pictures of Marley from my baby shower 3 weeks ago.

I sigh as I take the bottle out of his hand. it surprises me when he doesn't stop me. I say his name, "Bucky."

Nothing. He just continues to look flip through the pictures. I run my hand over my face and sigh. This isn't good. He is worse than before. I don't know why but this pisses me off. I snatch the phone out of his hand, and he turns to me slowly. Hes waiting for an explanation before he kills me.

"Buck, you have to stop this." I'm practically begging him.

Bucky turns away from not speaking. And just stares into nothingness. I get up and I move to sit on the coffee table directly in front of him. I make him face me. I need him to realize, he is being selfish.

"Hey! I'm sorry about what you're going through. I'm sorry she left you! I told you when she came back to leave her alone. I knew this would happen. I knew her showing back up here would do nothing but make you worst."

I stand up and I begin to pace. "You aren't the only person to go through a breakup. Why can't you just let her go man?!"

Bucky flinches but he still ignores me. the lack of response from him makes me angrier and more disappointed. "You aren't the only one going through something! I'm about to be a father for the first time. I need my best friend. My daughter is going to need her god father. Nat and Sam are struggling with the fact they can't have kids. They don't show but deep down we all know it's killing them."

Bucky finally looks up at me with red rimmed eyes. he breaks down and sobs into his hands. I move to sit back down in front of him and he rests his head on my shoulder as he continues to cry.

We stay like this for a minute before he gets up. he takes a few steps before I say, "I miss you man. I miss my best friend. It's been 3 years. you have to let her go. I need you. my daughter needs you. Sam and Nat need you. Hell, your mother needs you."

Bucky stands there nodding his head, wiping the tears from his eyes. he sniffs and says, "I'm sorry." and he breaks down again. his voice cracks and breaks "I can't shake her. I can't get her out of my system. No matter what I do, no matter how far you've thought I've come, something always brings me right back to her. I could run a hundred miles and when I look back there, she is."

I watch as his shoulders shake with sobs. "Buck."

"no. I can't explain it. I don't understand it. I want to go back to who I was without her. but I can't remember that person. I can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with her. I can't think or breathe without her." another sob rolls off him. I let him continue because something tells me he hasn't cried since he got out of jail. "I mean what do you do when you're too in love to let it go?"

I stand up and I say, "you have to try because you deserve better than this. your worth more than this."

Bucky falls into me and cries. I allow him this time to let it all out. but moving forward, he has to do better.

once he calms down, I tell him to go take a shower and I order us some Chinese food. Once I'm done doing that, I call up our friends and tell them to get over here. this is an intervention. One way or another, I will not allow Bucky to lose any more time obsessing over Marley.

Everyone shows up same time as the food. Everyone sits on the couch or the chairs surrounding the coffee table. I look at each one of them and I say, "He is in a vulnerable place..."

Sharon rolls her eyes and say, "What else is new?"

I snap my fingers and she look up and glares at me. "That. we don't need that. I know you're pissed at him but right now what he needs is his friends."

Nat says, "Weve been here."

I snap back, "have you really? We all knew Marley was with Strange and we all kept it from him."

John raises his hand and says, "I didn't know."

I roll my eyes, "find everyone except john."

Lamar raises his hand and says, "I didn't know either. And in my opinion that is a weird pairing. Who knew that was her type."

I sigh loudly as I try to get us back on track "not the point. we all kept it from him thinking we were protecting him. when all we did was hinder him. maybe if we were upfront in the first place, this wouldn't be hitting him so hard."

John laughs, "I heard he almost killed that guy with a sword. That's so badass."

Lamar looks around and says, "I thought it was with his tie."

Sam asks, "where would he get a sword?"

Nat interjects "wasn't it a napkin?"

Sharon rolls her eyes and asks, "Can I have an eggroll?"

I squeeze the bridge of my nose and I huff, "guys!"

Sharon yells, "Don't yell at me!"

I put my hand her tummy and I say, "I'm sorry baby." I hand her the box of eggrolls and I say, "guys, my point is this is where his healing can truly begin now. I need all of you to step up and help our friend right now. what do you say?"

Everyone agrees, including Sharon. When bucky comes out clean shaven and smelling like fresh soap, Sharon stands up and offers him an eggroll. Then reinstates his god father role.