The Art of Loving Red (one shot)

Dilaw meets Pula

A sense of familiarity everytime I hear that name.

"Yves, I swear it's true. Hindi kita niloloko, stace and I were never a thing. Maniwala ka sakin, ikaw yung mahal ko. Inaakit lang ako ni stace, it was a wrong timing nung nakita mo kami. She's the one who kissed me---"

"Jho stop, pagod ako. Wag ngayon"

"Mahal please maniwala ka" she grabbed my arm and kissed me.

"JHO ANO BA! HINDI KA BA MAKAINTINDI?"

"I'm sorry..."

"umalis ka na muna"

"no"

"UMALIS KA NA!!" tinulak ko siya with all the strength that I have, mahina lang yun kasi wala na kong lakas pero sign na yun para malaman niyang ayoko na siya makita. Tears streaming down my face as I saw how unaffectionate her eyes are.

Parang palabas lang lahat ng pinapakitang pagmamakaawa niyang patawarin ko siya. Sa kabila ng lahat, I always know that stace and her were cheating on me. Palagi ko siyang nahuhuli ng di niya alam, pinapatawad dahil mahal ko siya, mahal na mahal ko siya.

Hindi ko na siya nilingon, tumalikod ako sa kanya ng sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam. Alam ko kasi na isang sorry pa niya babalikan at papatawarin ko nanaman siya. Alam niya kasing palagi ko siya pinapatawad.

'I always see Jho as a red flag pero I keep my eye blindfolded kasi nga mahal ko e, binalaan na ko ng mga kaibigan ko pero hindi ako nakinig. Lagi nalang ganito.. bakit ba palagi akong niloloko? bakit palaging red flag yung minamahal ko? ano bang nagawa kong kasalanan sa mundo? para ganituhin ako ng tadhana?'

Dinala ako ng mga paa ko sa rooftop, crying and hurt I was at loss of words. I just wanted the wind to slap me, slap me with the reality na iwanan yung sitwasyon ko ngayon.

I pulled my phone out, hands shaking.. sending a last message to the person I wanted to also be my last but never would have been.

To my beloved Jho,

Finding the exact words to say what I want was nearly impossible, I always value you as the most important person in my life. Pero jho pagod na ko, ayoko na, sawa na ko. I do love you, sobra jho pero magkaiba tayo ng perspective e. Baka hindi ako yung para sayo, baka hindi ako yung nasa dulo ng linya mo. Baka mahal mo lang ako kasi kailangan mo ako, baka ako lang yung nagmamahal ng totoo at nakakaalala sa relasyon na to, baka ako lang yung may gustong isalba to. Be happy for me mahal kong jhoanna, you're always in my heart. Goodbye Jho, malaya ka na.

- Nagmamahal sayo palagi, Yves ౨ৎ

I blocked her after sending that, I was crying continously. How will I be okay after all that months I've gave my all? 'Lahat ng kaya ko jho binigay ko sayo as in lahat jhoanna, kahit walang matira para sa sarili ko, isakripisyo ko man yung buhay ko maging masaya ka lang ginawa ko. I'm risking it all pero ikaw parang hindi mo kaya magrisk para sakin'

A surge of exigency filled my vessels to throw myself at the peak of my emotions. Kinapa ko yung barricade na naghaharang para hindi mahulog sa baba yung tao. The condo was a 15 story building and I am here at the top of it.

'it's now or never yves' I climbed the solid barriers and look at the city, it was beautiful indeed.. but it's not the beautiful scenery I wanna see, I wanna see my future with jho but it's all gone, it's never gonna happen.

I was ready to fall when I see a red string, I blinked my eyes and when I opened it, it was all gone. But I saw a beautiful girl, red hair with worry in her eyes reaching for my clothes.