Fallen Stars

CHAPTER ONE

May 5th 2017

The moon.
The moon took the place of the sun in the sky some time ago, illuminating my hospital room with its cold glow. The window is open, letting the shivers of the night entering and caressing my face, which I can only imagine. A face with tired eyes, who barely knows how to smile anymore.

I try to make out what the blackbirds and crickets are singing among the sounds of the devices that I'm connected to. Many times I hoped that they would stop, freeing everyone from the burden they are willing to assist. After another epileptic fit, I ended up in the hospital.

        In my eyes, the moon is the most soothing star in the sky, managing to transform a disturbing night into a splendid one. Of course, I have enough knowledge to know that it's a planet, but when it winks at me, flashing a few times, I have the impression that I am looking at a star that is about to disappear. My insomnia still torments me, but, with the silence that descends over Seoul between two and five in the morning, I'm starting to feel my eyes closing by the second. But not tonight.

         May is the cherry season, and luckily for me, an alley in the hospital's yard is full of petals detached from the branches. I take out my IV's  and get out of bed, taking easy steps down the hall long abandoned by nurses and patients. Everyone sleeps, dreaming of immortality. The security guard who takes care of us always falls asleep at 2:15, as if a clock is programmed above his head, always going off. Mr. Bang is my favorite, he delights me with stories about his wonderful son, who goes to Oxford University and has a bright future ahead. I hope to reach at least the graduation of my last year of high school, but there is still a long way to go until then.

My long brown hair, which my older sister never let me cut, keeps me warm when I go out. The small lanterns on the sides of the road full of burgundy cobblestones illuminate my path, and the gentle wind guides me, giving me courage. Many things can happen to me, such as fainting and no one finding me until morning, when I will already be frozen, or someone can attack me, but what could be worse than death? Beautiful results are always accompanied by risks.

   I sit on a bench. The beauty I see before my eyes is indescribable, and the feeling of safety makes me forget all my worries. The petals descend to the ground in a majestic dance, colliding with each other. The pink carpet from the thick roots of the trees makes me wonder if it is comfortable. I can come here in the afternoon, after taking my medicine, to watch the sunset and read. A few petals also settle in my lap, beautifying these banal pajamas that I am forced to wear.

        "One more year, Sarang.", I whispered to myself. "Last another year and you will be able to see the season of cherry blossoms again."

       A snort makes me startle, instantly bringing my hand to my heart. At the end of the alley, right next to the circle with flowers of all colors, a boy comes towards me. When I see people of the opposite gender, my thoughts immediately go to love, knowing that I will not have such a feeling. The good things for me will end when I take my last breath.

        He is tall and dressed casually, with a black t-shirt and some gray sweatpants and flip-flops on his feet. The features of his face are well defined, his jaw is very sharp, straight eyebrows, black like his hair in which nothing can be reflected, give me the impression that he is a portal that absorbs the light and takes it away from the rest of the world. He looks at me amused, but his eyes scare me. They have something of their own that tells me to stay away from him.

         "Can I have a seat?" he asks me.

        I look at him for a few seconds before answering.

         "Yes."

        Even if I go to the other end of the bench, far from him, he chooses to sit close to me, leaving little personal space.

         "Who were you talking to before?"

         "You never talk to yourself?"

  "Rarely, usually I don't listen to what I am forbidden."

        I keep looking straight ahead, because his presence intimidates me a lot.

         "What are you doing here at this hour? he asked me again."

         "I can ask you the same thing."

          I can feel him smile, arching back even more.

"I can't bear to see my grandmother sleeping, my thoughts make me imagine her like this on the last day of her life, before she leaves me. It's the only one I have left and it's painful. You?"

  "I need fresh air."

          "You have heart problems, don't you?"

         I nod approvingly, because I don't want to give any other details. He understands my gesture, so all he does is hold out his hand.

          "I'm Nishimura Riki and I'd like to spend some time with you until grandma is discharged."

         I look at his hand for a few seconds, not knowing what to do. I've never had friends and I am not very good at communication.

         "Moon Sarang", I introduce myself, shaking his hands. "So you're japanese, your korean is pretty good!"

  "Thank you, I already know your name..."

          "Wait, what do you mean?"

         This time I look him in the eye. His smile is shy, being intimidated that he has to explain to me.

          "I passed by your salon several times. I saw you one day and I was happy to have someone my age here. I wanted to go in, but every time there was a woman there. Your sister, right? The resemblance is amazing!"

         This time, we laugh together. I don't know when was the last time I was happy, but I know for sure that it wasn't in the recent past. We were having a long conversation about my sister and his grandmother, until I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost four.

         "I have to go back to my room, Saebi is almost finishing her shift and she s coming to stay with me.", I tell him.

        I get up from the bench and I want to leave, but Riki grabs my hand.

         "Take the petals off your hair if you want to pretend you've slept."

         I laugh.

         "When I'll have the opportunity to meet you again?" the question took me by surprise.

          "My birthday is in two days, I'm turning eleven. Come here at the same time, and I assure you that you will find me."

        We smile for the last time, each of us going our own way, guided by the light of the moon.