KEEP IT, LOSE IT (HOGWARTS LEGACY FANFICTION)

chapter fifty-four

After several minutes of silence, Ominis finally found his voice, though his gaze remained lost in the darkness of his mind. "

I... I did something unforgivable," he murmured, his tone low and broken. Mary's heart ached at the sound, and without hesitation, she hugged him tighter.

"Ominis, it wasn't your fault," she said softly, trying to offer him comfort. "You were just a child, one who had no power at that moment."

But those words didn't bring Ominis any peace. He could feel the warmth of Mary's embrace, but his guilt was a weight that never left him. "There are always choices, Mary," he responded, his voice laced with self-loathing. "And I... I chose the worst one."

Mary felt a deep pain seeing him so distraught, so trapped in his own despair. The anguish in her chest grew as she imagined the internal struggle Ominis faced every day. She couldn't bear the thought of someone so noble hating himself so much. 

"No," she said, her voice now more firm. "You didn't choose anything. They forced you. You had no other option, and that doesn't make you any less brave, or any less good."

Ominis took a deep breath, trying to accept her words, though the shadow of his memories still choked him. Even so, Mary's closeness, her warmth, offered him a small refuge in the midst of his torment. 

"I don't know how to thank you for being here," he whispered, his voice full of sincerity. "I never sleep well; it's always nightmares. Rarely do I ever truly rest... but this time... this time is different. This time, I have you."

The atmosphere between them shifted, becoming more intimate, more charged with a deep feeling they were just beginning to recognize but didn't yet know how to handle. With a slow but deliberate movement, Ominis hugged her tighter, burying his face in the crook of her neck, seeking in her a peace that only Mary seemed able to give him. 

"I wish all my mornings could be like this," he whispered, his voice low and filled with unspoken desire.

Mary's heart raced, and for a moment, her mind clouded with nerves and the intensity of the situation. Despite everything, she returned his embrace, resting her head on his. "I'd like that too," she admitted softly, "but I don't think it's a good idea to sleep in the boys' dormitory."

That comment did what Mary had hoped. Ominis let out a small laugh, easing the tension a bit. "You're right," he admitted, a faint smile on his lips. "Though, for a moment, the idea didn't seem so bad."

As Mary and Ominis made their way toward his dormitory, she gently held his hand, their fingers intertwined. It was different from the times they had held hands before. This time, the touch was more intimate, more deliberate. Ominis needed that contact, that reassurance to feel safe, and Mary was more than willing to offer it. She could feel the tension in his grip, his need for comfort, and it only made her hold on tighter.

When they reached the door to his room, Ominis hesitated, his steps slowing until he came to a stop. Mary turned to him, sensing his reluctance. He stood there, gripping her hand as if letting go would shatter the fragile peace he had found in her presence. His brow furrowed, and his voice trembled slightly when he spoke. 

"Mary... I don't want to be alone tonight," he admitted, his voice raw with fear. "I don't want to close my eyes and... go back to that place. Not without you here."

He moved closer to her, seeking solace in her nearness, the warmth of her presence soothing the cold dread that gnawed at him. The vulnerability in his eyes broke her heart, and she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to leave him alone, not when she knew what awaited him in his dreams, but she couldn't stay with him in the boys' dormitory—not with their other roommate there.

Mary was at a loss, struggling to find a solution that would keep Ominis safe while respecting their boundaries. The idea of him suffering through another nightmare alone was unbearable. She could almost feel his fear as if it were her own, and she couldn't just walk away.

But then, a thought struck her. The Undercroft. It was a private place, away from prying eyes, where they could both find some measure of peace. It wasn't the same as being in the dormitory, but it was a space they both knew and trusted.

"Ominis," Mary said softly, squeezing his hand to get his attention. "What if we go to the Undercroft? It's quiet, secluded... and we can stay there for the rest of the night. No one will disturb us, and you won't be alone."