I will never forget it but i have to move on

New beginning August 2015

I was sitting in the kitchen of my house facetimeing my brother Owen and his girlfriend Amelia
Owen: You don't have to worry about getting in our way, we've rebuilt the attic for you and there's also a reading corner
It's not like your house, but it's cozy
Amelia : Hi Meghan I can't wait to operate together
Meghan: We probably won't, I'm going to interview at the Seattle Pressbyterian in two days
Owen : That's bullshit Chief Bailey is ready to take you on as a trauma and general surgeon
Meghan : I don't want to be out there Owen
I need a fresh start with a clean slate and not you all pointing at me
You see that desperate widow that's Owen Hunt's sister he pushed her in here
Owen: In fact, we would be looking for a new surgeon anyway
Meghan : Okay, I'll cancel it
Owen : And how does the house look?
Meghan : I packed everything Donna Harvey's assistant came to help me and it left by boat yesterday
I'm leaving in a few hours and the real estate agent should ring here shortly to collect the keys and give them to the new owners
I hope this house brings them more happiness than me
Amelia : You are stronger than you think Meghan you can do anything and we are always here for you
And Meredith with kids and Magiie
Meghan : I know thank you

At that moment the doorbell rang

Meghan : The broker is here, I have to go
See you in a few hours bye
Amelia : Bye and happy flying
Owen : Take care, we'll pick you up at the airport
Bye

I ended the call and went to open the door

Realtor: Hello Meghan, I came to collect the keys as we agreed

At that moment, tears welled up in my eyes
I realized that it was really over and I was about to start again
I twirled my wedding ring on my hand

Realtor : It must be hard for you
Would you like a glass of water?
Meghan : No thank you but could I be alone for a while please?
Realtor : Sure, I'll look around the garden if I can
She is really stunning, I really envy the new owners

Thank you
When the broker went to the garden, I went up the stairs to the upper floor of our house
I walked into our bedroom
I have already packed everything I wanted to take with me
There was only one thing left
Our wedding photo from my bedside table
I decided to leave the furniture here
I knocked myself all over and sat on our bed
I took the photo in my hand
Meghan: love if I died I would be happy if I could see from above how you left the past behind and started again somewhere far away somewhere else
I love you so much and I will forever, so please forgive me for moving on
I promise I'll never forget you or Ellie

I took a deep breath, got up from the bed I was sitting on for the last time, looked around the room where my husband and I started again after the death of our daughter, and closed the door behind me
Then I went down the stairs and in the kitchen, which is connected to the living room, I put the photo in the trunk
I felt sick and sad
I was angry at the world why this had to happen to me and felt alone
I was alone

I was broken a few moments before I collapsed but I knew that the only way I would not really collapse was what I had already done
Sell ​​the house and move away
Somewhere where I can start over
I handed over the keys to the broker and just at that moment the taxi driver called me that he was here

I had my husband's car shipped to Seattle along with my belongings
Realtor : Good luck Meghan and hang in there
Meghan : Thank you bye
The taxi driver was already waiting in front of the house
I got in and waited for them to load my suitcases
I was even worse

At that moment, the moment that changed my life forever was replayed before my eyes

I remember it like today
Probably because it's only half a year

At that moment, the moment that changed my life forever was replayed before my eyes

I remember it like today
Probably because it's only half a year
But no...
I think I will really remember it until I die

Flashback

I was driving with my husband in the car
It was raining and it looked like there would be a storm because it was thundering

Harvey : We need a Land Rover, not a BMW
Meghan: Why stop and wait for the rain to pass?
Harvey : That's good I can do it
I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere
Meghan: How about buying a pizza, some good wine, going back home, wrapping yourself in a warm blanket and lighting a fire in the fireplace?
Harvey : I waited two weeks for Meghan to be off
Meghan : But now I'm having a restaurant stolen
Harvey: Love can we leave it at least tonight please?
I am...
Meghan: I know you want a surrogate mother
Fine, but can't we please try one more artificial insemination?
Harvey, when we lost our baby, you promised me we'd have another
Harvey : I thought we were going to...
Honey...
Meghan: We can
I'm a doctor, so I know that if people try, they can succeed
Harvey : Love you and me...
Our marriage is important, yes?
It's about the two of us and if we don't let it, it can destroy us
Meghan : But I don't want to let it go
Harvey : You're not thinking rationally
Meghan : I guess we need a break
Harvey : I keep saying that
Meghan : No I mean the two of us
Harvey: You wanna leave me?
Meghan : I don't want to I love you so much but we don't want the same things anymore Harvey
You have your career, it fulfills you, but I am empty
I feel alone and I'm alone Harvey
Harvey : I've only ever wanted you
i love you love
Meghan: I think love is not enough anymore
Harvey: You're not serious, are you?
Meghan: I think so
He turned to me and didn't really concentrate on driving
He brushed my red hair from my face
Harvey : Listen love I...

At that moment, a car drove into us from the side at full speed
I was fine except for a slight concussion and shock, but Harvey was taken away by helicopter
He fought bravely for several days but finally fell into a coma, it was not possible to revive him and he suffered brain death
I decided to give consent to donate his organs
But I will never forget what he said to me the last time I heard his voice

Harvey : I didn't mean it like that, love
I love you so much
When I recover, we will go for artificial insemination again and it will definitely work
You will be a great mother

End of flashback

Taxi driver: so where will it go? Meghan : John Figerald Kennedy Airport please
Taxi driver: How long are you flying for?
Meghan: All the time
The taxi driver drove off, I put my headphones in my ears and played music
It helped me when I lost Ellie in childbirth and it still helps me now
After about an hour, the taxi driver stopped in front of the airport
I got out, he took out my suitcases and I put a banknote in his hand
Taxi Driver : Good luck
Meghan: Thank you
I entered the airport lobby, went through check-in, passport control and went to buy coffee in a thermos mug that Harvey's assistant Donna had given me.
It was printed on it
New start August 2015 good luck Meghan
I got my coffee and went to wait for the plane
The moment I boarded the plane to Seattle, I started a new chapter in my life and hoped it wouldn't be as painful as the last one
What happened to me is not something that can be forgotten, but only something that can be learned to live with