Heartfelt Transitions [First Draft]

Tenth

James's POV

My head spun as I tried to make my way to the cabinets. My body ached and broke at every point.

Short of willpower, I gave up trying and staggered back to where I started, at my bedside.

Limply, hoping for rest to be the cure of it all, I sank into the bed. Sweat and cold ran through my frame at the same time. I coughed, shutting my eyes and cocooning myself up in the blanket.

My chest hurt with a desolating ache as I shifted into the mattress once, relaxing into the position least uncomfortable of every I had tried.

A vibrating noise pierced through the air, making my head throb louder.

It continued and continued. With one hand, I attempted to reach out for the phone god knows where.

Gathering all my ounce of strength, I tried getting out of the bed but failed miserably. This was too hard. Too exhausting.

Taking a deep shaky breath, I could only let the phone continue ringing until it stopped. My eyes watered, and I didn't know if it was due to the overwhelming ache or simply the cold.

I found my insides caving, begging, wanting help.

Help.

Nothing I was ever familiar with or was expecting to be.

You had think after falling into this sickeningly ghastly condition almost once every year, I would have better tolerance or lower expectations.

But it sucked every time, taking everything out of me. The pretense and loneliness taking everything out of me.

The hours on the clock flew. Maybe two, three, I couldn't figure out. I fell half asleep a few times, only jolting awake due to discomfort. My stomach hurt due to hunger, unfed since last night. My clothes grew only sweatier. But I didn't dare leave the bed.

The bell rang. I inched my neck, which was hurting now too.

The bell rang again. And again.

Fuck man.

Exhaling sharply, I rolled back the blanket and stood up. My legs shook ever so slightly.

Making use of my barely recuperated strength, I got out of my room, taking slow and steady steps to the main door.

The world was spinning, round and round, making my head throb only louder.

I could feel my body grow weaker and weaker and I knew what was going to happen.

But I was going to tough it out. At least for a few minutes.

I would check the door, deal with whoever was there nicely and then pass out.

Pass out like everytime.

I would crumple to the floor, my head hitting the ground like a helpless nothing, and my body would lay there for a couple of hours. No one would catch me when I would fall. And no one would see me on the ground, feigning weakness. No one would see me get up.

I would gain consciousness back, enough to continue on again.

Enough for everyone to see the perfect student again.

Enough for my sister to see the strong brother again.

Enough for no one to ever find out this.

Like every time.

As I drew closer to the door, my breath got shorter and tight, knees going even weaker.

No, I wasn't going to fall apart just now.