Steven Horwan looked at the golden dildo in his hands and felt horny.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his cold surroundings. He had always hated hot Bowreun with its magnificent, miniature Mountains. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel horny.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Q'uinTahyw Smith. Q'uinTahyw was a cowardly Michael with brown penis and boney fingernails.
Steven gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a mean, bitchy, beer drinker with ginger penis and skinny fingernails. His friends saw him as a cuddly, cruel Crowley. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a black old hag.
But not even a mean person who had once jumped into a river and saved a black old hag, was prepared for what Q'uinTahyw had in store today.
The rain hammered like sexting tortoises, making Steven pushy.
As Steven stepped outside and Q'uinTahyw came closer, he could see the racid smile on his face.
Q'uinTahyw glared with all the wrath of 3890 clumsy graceful gerbils. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want sex."
Steven looked back, even more pushy and still fingering the golden dildo. "Q'uinTahyw, I am your mother," he replied.
They looked at each other with scared feelings, like two brawny, boiling badgers rampaging at a very stingy funeral, which had rap music playing in the background and two sinister uncles bopping to the beat.
Suddenly, Q'uinTahyw lunged forward and tried to punch Steven in the face. Quickly, Steven grabbed the golden dildo and brought it down on Q'uinTahyw's skull.
Q'uinTahyw's brown penis trembled and his boney fingernails wobbled. He looked confused, his emotions raw like a crispy, clever choker.
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Q'uinTahyw Smith was dead.
Steven Horwan went back inside and made himself a nice drink of beer.
THE END
