FOR ME

Birds were chirping on trees and Sun was rising from the horizon colouring the sky from various shades. Morning was pleasant but was it really?

Morning Pooja was going on in house and one of the occupants that is me was not at all interested in that.

I was thinking about Sameer and the turn of events took place which brought storm in our lives.

"Naina" Preeti my sister called me and we left from there to go to college. Actually I was not at all interested to go but I wanted to see Sameer. Hope he will come and I can at least see him in the hope that he will spare me a glance hateful and angry will also do.

I wish I can go in the past and change the things that happened and it completely gave a new dimension to my life.

Seriously I could've have told Sameer the truth about paper stealing when I had chance but no I didn't. I was a coward just like my brother Arjun.

Was Sameer really wrong for placing that bet? I know he was wrong for doing that and playing with my emotions but I also did the same thing with him right? I also lied to him for almost 3 yrs. and never had any regret for it.

But Sameer accepted his mistakes for that bet and he repented ,tolerated all insults and slaps from my father for me so I can forgive him. What I did? When we got back together I could've told him and cleared his name but I didn't.

How can I say that I love him more than the world? Some will say he changed because of my love but no he was always a pure soul no malice always helpful and sensitive no matter what.

I still remember that day when I wanted to tell him truth but destiny had different plans for me.

It was a Monday as usual me and Sameer were meeting in temple and I decided to tell him this truth. Infact when Arjun Bhaiya came back I remembered all those things and it made me realise that my brother is still same coward,liar and blaming others for his mistakes. He was against Sameer but how can I make him understand that what Sameer means to me?

He came to temple with me despite saying no to warn Sameer so he can stay away from me. He got in arguments with Sameer it was fine but then he started to man handle him and i couldn't take it any more. He was out of control and gave warning to me that he will tell about us to my father and he will make sure that we will never see or meet each other again.

I became so angry and I blurted that I also know his secret of paper stealing and I will reveal that to our father. There I said it in fit of anger without realising that Sameer is still there and how will he react to it?

Shock,anger,betrayal,hurt was all written over his face and I couldn't meet his eyes.

Step by step he was moving backwards and I felt my life is slipping like sand from my hands in that moment.

He started to go from there and I couldn't take it any more. I just didn't care that my brother was still there,for me only Sameer mattered and the truth which I hide from him. He has a right to know everything and that too from me.

"Sameer please listen to me. I can explain."

" Just tell me one thing that you knew this truth all this time way before our relationship started? Just Yes or No?"he shouted.

I had a feeling of deja vu of MT. Abu when I screamed exact words at him.

Trust me that moment i realised that how easy it is to lie and how difficult it is to accept your mistakes and work on it.

But what I did ? I hide this biggest truth from him and in a way our relationship was based on the biggest lie and that too from my side. How can I call myself a honest person? Which I am not.