1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
3. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
4. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
5. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
6. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
8. I would tell you a joke about an elevator,
but it's an uplifting experience.
9.Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
10. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
12. I told my computer I needed a break,
and now it won't stop sending me KitKats.
13. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
14. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
15. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
16. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
17. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
18. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.
19. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
20. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
