TO HAVE & HAVE NOT

23

Olivia

During the chaos of my existence, I jumped at the opportunity to star alongside Johnny Depp, feeling as if fate had finally decided to shine a light on my otherwise tumultuous life.

The previous night had been a blur of noise and indulgence, losing myself in the vibrant yet exhausting whirlwind of Hollywood's underbelly, and I was deep in the throes of a restless sleep when an abrupt banging at my hotel door invaded my dreams like a jackhammer tearing through concrete.

Groaning loudly, I sat up, the pounding in my head echoing the commotion at my door, a physical reminder of the previous night's escapades. I stumbled to the door, running a hand through my messy hair, and swung it open only to retreat to the sanctuary of my rumpled bed, hoping to wash away the intruding chaos and sink back into oblivion.

"It's a mess in here!" Tommy exclaimed, his eyes darting around the hotel room cluttered with clothes, empty bottles, and the remnants of last night's hastily consumed takeout. "And you look like shit!" he added bluntly, a casual observation that cut through my fog like a knife.

"Thank you," I mumbled carelessly, brushing off his harsh but accurate assessment as I buried my face in my pillow, seeking refuge from the harsh light streaming through the window.

"I've come bearing good news, but you're going to have to clean up your act if you want to get this part," he urged, and suddenly, my ears piqued with interest like a dormant animal awakening from hibernation. "Collin reached out with a script," he continued, and that name sent a jolt of electricity through me; Collin had directed my last film, a project so deeply etched in my memory that it had garnered me an Oscar at the tender age of 17. This whirlwind success felt like both a blessing and a curse. "It's starring Johnny Depp," Tommy said. As soon as that tantalizing sentence rolled off his tongue, my body shot upright in bed, adrenaline coursing through my veins, obliterating any remnants of fatigue.

"Yes," I replied, the urgency lacing my voice, my mind racing with the possibilities and the sheer excitement of the opportunity ahead. "I have to have it."

It was as if, in that split second, all the chaos of my existence fell away, each moment of turmoil and despair eclipsed by the bright light of ambition and the intoxicating thrill of a new chance, rekindling the passion I thought I had lost among the shadows of my turbulent life.

I had never met Johnny before that table read, but the memory of the night I first encountered him lingered with me.

The night I won my Oscar was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life, yet it felt overshadowed by the heaviness of the Hollywood atmosphere. In this place, the celebration often masks deeper rivalries and insecurities.

The after-party was one of those exclusive events that nobody seemed to know about until the glitterati were already swirling around in their sequined gowns and tailored suits, gossiping and laughing in dimly lit corners. I remember trying to find a comfortable spot among the crowd, feeling like a fish out of water, but I couldn't bear to be near Leo for long. His mere presence was a painful reminder of what happened between us.

Just as I made my way toward the exit, I noticed Johnny walking toward me, a vision of charisma with an air of mystery that seemed to draw all eyes, including mine. My body froze, time suspended as the wind seemed to catch in my throat, pinching my nerves and making my heart race.

But to my dismay, Johnny walked past me as if I were merely a shadow in the background, invisible to his vibrant world. He headed straight for Leo, who loomed behind me, and the two exchanged pleasantries that I could hardly register through the fog of my disappointment.

All I could remember was how intoxicating his cologne was, a blend of confidence and allure that wrapped around me, leaving me wishing I had mustered the courage to say anything before he disappeared into the crowd.

The moment slipped away, like many do in the chaos of Hollywood, filling me with a regret I would carry for the next two years until fate finally gave me another chance to bridge that gap.