Everyone hates me and left me I deserve nothing am nothing they abandoned me just like everyone else it's been over a year and it still haunts me they all do I love him but he's bound to leave me to because they all do because I deserve it I am mean I am not ok bit no one cares I tried to be who they wanted it was never enough I gave up and by the time I was ready to try again they all gave up on me I tried and tried for years I gained few but some only to lose them again I tried could it really be my fault I'm so unbearable to everyone I gave everything over and over I'm never good enough never going to be good enough I don't deserve him to stay I'm a mean hypocrite who deserves all the pain in this world I'm a crule monster and he deserves so much better fuck the world fuck everything as much as I'd like to blame everyone else I can't everyone I love leaves my heart almost constantly hurts I reached for so long to find anyone only for them all to go leave ignore and block me I don't remember really doing anything wrong for most but they all disappear without a trace and that's what i deserve
but...
Maybe I don't deserve him and I'm right but maybe when he tells me I'm his world and his soulmate I should trust and believe him maybe he is not just my reason for breathing but my reason for living too
