TO HAVE & HAVE NOT

27

Olivia

The weight of his question sent anxiety surging through my body, a tidal wave of nerves crashing against the carefully constructed facade I had built over the years. In that fragile moment, I found solace in being an actress—someone adept at portraying a calm and collected exterior, even when chaos reigned within.

His question hung in the air like an uninvited guest: What was my story? Who was I? The truth clawed at my insides, a storm of conflicting narratives and fragmented memories. However, there was no way I could reveal the real story; it felt too raw, too convoluted, a tangled web of experiences that hardly coalesced into anything coherent.

I had long ago lost my identity in the tumultuous sea of life, drowning in the persona of Olivia, a character I had crafted to protect myself from the uncertainties of my past. Those remnants of a former life floated in my mind, compelling and distant, yet achingly close, like a ghost haunting my thoughts.

I had honed the art of deflecting personal inquiries into a sort of performance, a skillful dance around the truth that made it seem effortless, even elegant, as I crafted my responses to steer the conversation away from the depths I was terrified to plunge into. It was a remarkable talent, this ability to wear a mask of serenity while my heart raced. My mind churned with the weight of all that remained unsaid, the stories I could never share, the pieces of me that would always remain shrouded in mystery, entangled in the tragic beauty of who I had been and who I had chosen to become.

"You've got two children, right?" I asked, deftly sidestepping the probing question he had just tossed my way.

A playful grin spread across his face as he responded, "You've googled me too, I assume?"

I couldn't help but laugh out loud, shaking my head in playful disbelief. "No, I wouldn't have to. You're Johnny Depp!"

His eyes shut momentarily as he shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. "Please... that makes me sound cooler than I am," he remarked, and I raised an eyebrow, leaning in with mischief.

"You're not as cool as you look?" I teased back, prompting him to erupt in laughter.

"You think I look cool? I think you look cool," he shot back, genuinely amused.

Seizing the moment, I playfully pulled out my phone, pretending to record. "Hold on, repeat it—let me hear you say you think I'm cool. I need this on record for when people in my everyday life think I'm uncool. I'll replay this audio and flaunt it, saying there's no way considering Johnny Depp says otherwise," I bantered, igniting another round of laughter between us.

We were both caught up in the joy of the spontaneous exchange, bantering like old friends. Curiosity got the best of me as I asked, "What do you like to do in your free time?"

He paused momentarily, a thoughtful look crossing his face before answering, "I like to go for a swim, play my guitar, read some cool books. What do you do in your free time?"

With a cheeky grin, I replied, "Mostly skinny-dip in hotel pools, overeat fast food, and watch scary movies."

His laughter erupted, filling the air around us. "And you say I'm cool? Come on! That's the coolest thing I've ever heard!" he exclaimed, his enthusiasm infectious.

In that lighthearted moment, any notion of celebrity distance evaporated, leaving just two individuals sharing a genuine connection built on humor and candid exchanges as we bonded over the simple pleasures of life.

As soon as I was in my car and on my way back to my hotel room, I dialed Tommy's number, and to my surprise, he answered almost immediately. "You didn't even let it ring!" I exclaimed in disbelief, practically grinning ear to ear.

"I did," he insisted, "once." This playful exchange ignited an explosion of laughter between us, a sound that echoed the lightness of the moment.

"So?" he probed, eager to delve deeper into the evening's developments.

"So," I replied, the corners of my mouth still upturned in a smile, "nothing happened. I swear. It's just friendly banter. He apologized because he didn't want to make me uncomfortable and come off too strong."

I could almost hear Tommy's raised eyebrows through the phone as he considered the situation. "Did you tell him he couldn't make you uncomfortable? If it were me, I would have begged him to make me feel uncomfortable," Tommy quipped, causing a hearty laugh to burst forth from me.

"Tommy!" I said playfully, shaking my head as if he could see my incredulous expression. "There's seriously nothing between us."

His dramatic sigh pierced through the laughter like a cue for more mischief. "Maybe I have a chance," he teased, and my laughter spilled over again.

"Unfortunately, I don't think he's gay," I countered, the humor still tinged with a touch of reality.

"In my dreams, he is!" Tommy shot back, a playful defiance in his tone that sent us both over the edge, crying with laughter now.

The next day, as the sun began to rise and paint the sky with shades of orange and pink, Johnny approached me with a coffee cradled in each of his hands. A radiant smile brightened his face as he cheerfully exclaimed, "Good morning." His joyous energy was infectious, and I couldn't help but return the greeting with a smile of my own.

"Good morning!" I replied, the warmth of the moment enveloping me.

"I got you a coffee," he said, proudly lifting both cups in the air as if presenting a trophy. "Well, I got two, actually. Because I wasn't sure if you liked it with cream and sugar or just black." His enthusiasm made my heart flutter a little.

"Just black," I informed him, trying to suppress my laughter at his unnecessary generosity.

"Yikes," he said, his face contorting into a mock expression of horror. "Okay. Here you go." He extended his arm, handing me the steaming cup of black coffee, the rich aroma wafting through the air.

"What?" I asked, an amused smile spreading across my face as I accepted the cup. "Oh, god. Don't tell me," I added, narrowing my eyes at him playfully.

"What?" Johnny said innocently, taking a sip of his own coffee, which was clearly adorned with sugar and cream.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed dramatically, clutching my chest with faux despair. "You like yours with cream and sugar?" I feigned shock, eyes wide as I leaned in a little closer, relishing the playful banter.

"Extra cream and sugar, actually," Johnny admitted, a sheepish grin dancing across his lips.

"Yikes, how embarrassing. I thought only teenage girls still did that," I teased him, laughter bubbling up inside me. "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." I winked and nudged his arm gently, savoring the lighthearted moment.

"Thank you," he said softly, "That really means so much to me." His grin widened, and it lit up his entire face. "Ready to get this day rolling?"

"Wow, I see what you did there," I chuckled. "I was born ready, in fact." Confidence coursed through my words.

"Somehow, I actually believe that," Johnny said, smirking as he took another sip of his coffee.

"You're one of the good ones, aren't you?" I said with a warm smile, my gaze tracing the contours of his features. Everything about him seemed perfect in that moment—the way he held himself, the sparkle in his eyes.

He chuckled softly, momentarily lowering his gaze before meeting mine again. "Oh, I don't know about that," he countered, a hint of modesty in his voice.

"You are. I can tell," I stated confidently, meeting his eyes and refusing to back down.

"Can you? How?" He raised an eyebrow, his grin widening, clearly intrigued by my assertion.

I shrugged, leaning back slightly. "Just trust me on this one," I replied, my voice filled with a mixture of playfulness and sincerity.

He attempted to suppress the smile that was threatening to break free and widen even further, his eyes sparkling with delight. "Okay, I think I can trust you on this one," he said, clearly entertained by our lighthearted exchange.

The atmosphere around us was filled with an undeniable chemistry, and as we stood there sipping our coffees.