billet doux

q u a t r e / c u a t r o

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀j a n u a r y⠀o f⠀t h e⠀y e a r⠀2 0 0 4

maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

i think as i stand in front of james' unoccupied desk with my letter clutched tightly to my chest. the empty classroom was thirty minutes away from being filled with buzzing teenagers and i had to make this quick before someone sees me. deep breaths. remember eloise, it's now or never. i press a kiss on the rose-scented paper and with shaky fingers, i place it very carefully on james' table as if it contained all the secrets of the universe. i spare the note one last glance before dashing out of the room only to collide with another body.

" eloise? what are you doing here so early? "

i bite the insides of my cheeks, subconsciously tapping my shoes against the cemented floor. " i just came to look for something i had lost. " i lie through teeth as my fingers played with the pleats of my maroon skirt. thankfully, she bought it. profe martinez nods with an understanding look on her face. i then take this moment to excuse myself and disappear into the hallways.

i dreaded lunch the most. sitting there with eve's circle of friends whilst nervously chewing on whatever my mom had packed me has definitely never been the highlight of my day ; well, until now. my eyes dart everywhere but on james as he makes his way to our table, but in the end my eyes still trail on his face. he lowers down his tray on the table and takes a seat next to eve, " hey eve, thanks for the letter. " he says, smiling.

" huh? what letter? " my sister asks, wearing a confused expression on her face.

" that wasn't you? "

eve shakes her head, placing her fruit juice box on james' tray like she usually does. " what was? " she asks while i keep silent the whole time, nervousness spiking through me.

after school was even more dreadful. " james let me read it during class. " eve tells me as we walk home, " it's not like she has a chance with him. " she scoffs and i fight to keep myself from squirming.

" i have the right to be angry, right? " she asks me but i was so caught up in my own thoughts that i didn't answer.

" hello? earth to eloise? " eve waves her hand in front of my face.

" erm, what? "

" as his girlfriend, i have the right to be angry, haven't i? " i nod cautiously trying to ignore the all-too-familiar sinking feeling. he belongs to eve.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀{ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀}

every sunday we'd attend church with james' family, which consisted of james poking eve's back from time to time and eve giggling until my mother tells her to keep quiet and today was no exception. their play-fights didn't always used to bother me. before, there were occasions where i couldn't help it but giggle along with them. but it's different now.

" mama's going to get mad. " i murmur to my sister as she fights to keep her giggles from escaping her lips. she only nods and presses a finger to her lips telling me to keep quiet. which i do, i manage to ignore them for the rest of the mass.

" mama, i'm off! i'm taking my bike with me! " eve calls out from behind the fence after lunch. mama up from her gardening and points at my direction. " take eloise with you, bella! " i fight a smile of excitement.

" alright, " eve agrees, stepping off of her two-wheeler and into the lawn. " you'll have to take my old bike. let me go get it. " she disappears into the backyard only to come back walking a red bicycle with training wheels that i recognize from four years ago.

we walked the bikes to james' house four blocks down. james comes out with his own bicycle much like eve's. he definitely did not expect me to be joining them but he quickly covers the expression with a smile, " this is new. " eve nods, a smile forming on her lips.

the three of us road our bikes down to the park. it was a struggle, i could barely catch up with them although they promise they'd slow down for me. i huff and puff, my legs tired from pedaling such a tiny bike. i decide to give up and stop in front of a small plant shop called rosa's not too far away from the park. eve and james don't notice though, they keep pedaling through the streets without looking back. i could only sigh and hop off the two wheeler and enter the shop. an earthy smell immediately hits me. i walk around admiring the pretty flowers and little cacti plants in cute porcelain pots. i've only ever been here once before when eve and i decided to buy miniature potted plants to decorate out study tables with.

" hey, you! " a voice from behind me hollers making me turn around on instinct. a familiar-looking boy stands at the entrance, his eye settled on me. i raise a finger and point to myself as if to ask ' me? '. the boy nods, " you eve's sister? "

" uh . . . " i glance down at my orange flip flops before looking back up again, " yeah. "

he smiles. " i'm nicolás. "

" i know. " i tell him. how could i forget nicolás sanchez when eve and her friends teased me about him for the half of sixth grade? the only reason i refused to speak to nicolás was because he seemed like a reckless boy but eve being eve automatically assumed i avoided him because i had a crush on him.

" huh, " he slips off of his knapsack and fishes for something inside. a pink rose. he holds it out for me, " i had to follow you all the way here. someone asked me to give this to you. " he tells me but i stand frozen on my spot, staring at the flower he held in his hand. he holds it out higher, " just take it. "

i hesitate at first but i take it from his grasp, my eyes flicker over his to make sure i wasn't being fooled. " who . . . who's it from? " i ask, my voice coming out weird.

" not allowed to say, sorry. " he apologizes with a shrug before slinging his bag over his shoulder again. " see you around. "

" bye. " i say barely above a whisper ; and then he was gone, leaving me in the plant shop with a pink rose in hand from someone i didn't know.

a/n : I'M BACK ON TRACK AMIGOS.