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I have about 7 other stories with my ultimate OT4 in progress, but instead I had the random urge to write this. I'm so sorry Childe. This story stems from my own personal experiences with my family so please double check the Trigger Warnings and only read if you are comfortable with them and will be safe.

TW: description of family trauma (arguing with parents), its aftermath, and a brief description of Childe having a "collar" from his relationship with Baizhu, Diluc, and Zhongli (his thigh strap).

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Childe never thought that anything would be more painful than his emergency trip back to Snezhnaya after his time stuck in Fountain, but as he now sat alone in a boat slowly drifting across the sea, he knew he was wrong. His entire body felt numb even though the worst of his injuries had already healed. His eyes were unfocused as he stared at the expanse of blue water slowly growing darker as the sun set. Childe had always loved sunsets, but not even their comfort could ease the stinging in his eyes as he ignored the tears that slowly fell. The Harbinger had always prided himself on his strength and what he could endure, but nothing could have ever prepared him for the mental pain he was in after the fight he had with his family.

Leaving Fountaine was a difficult task after his location was finally revealed. Having to maintain his Foul Legacy form for as long as he did just to be able to hold his own against the massive whale almost killed him. He didn't even have the strength to hold himself upright as his subordinates had to practically drag him secretly to a ship headed to Snezhnaya and away from any enemy eyes. Dipping in and out of consciousness, Childe almost missed Dottore sprinting down the long corridors to get to him. He regretted not being able to make a joke about the doctor actually caring about him, but blood pooled his mouth any time he tried to speak forcing Dottore to snap at him to stop trying to speak.

"I'm only doing this on the Tsaritsa's orders." He added with a softer tone than one would have expected; seeming to understand what Childe had wanted to say. Childe rolled his eyes, the Harbingers would never admit to caring about each other, but they knew they each had a role to play and needed to survive until the Tsaritsa gave them the order to rest.

Childe had been stuck in the medical ward for weeks to allow for him to be watched closely as he practically buzzed out his skin at being forced to do nothing for so long. He had always said how grateful he was for having two families, the one he was born with and another that he found; and he was itching to see both of them. He had been doing everything he could to keep his found family in Liyue updated to hopefully prevent his stubborn boyfriends from breaking down the doors to the palace just to be able to see him, but he knew he would never be able to fully satisfy them until he saw then in person again. As for his other family, he hadn't been able to come back to Snezhnaya for a while and was thrilled at having an excuse to be able to see them. He begged anyone who would listen to him to let him out, but no one was willing to go against Dottore and help him slip away for a visit.

It took another couple of weeks before Dottore did one last checkup and unceremoniously told him to get out once he finished. Childe didn't have to be told twice and sprang up fast enough to cause Dottore to wince at the sudden movement that he knew pulled at his stitches and sore muscles, but Childe was out of the door before he could even think about saying anything.

"He'll be back in less than two months." Dottore grumbled to one of his subordinates with a shake of his head as he strode out of the room and returned his attention fully back to his lab.

Childe had gotten to his family's home in record time, beaming when his little siblings ran out yelling his name. He didn't even notice the pain as they squeezed him tightly and talked excitedly all at once. It had been pure bliss. Childe never expected that to change.