YOURS FOREVERMORE || BEOMGYU MAFIA

25. A STORM

Herin sat up straight again.
Her feet touching the soft carpet on the floor and she slowly turned her head back to Beomgyu.
He had closed the drawer again and put the Polaroid they had taken a few minutes ago, next to her first one.

She was glad she was here.
Glad she wasn't alone after this awful night at the club.
As she thought about it, she swallowed trying to stop her throat from closing again, then suddenly the bad feeling found it's way back up to her head.

Herin tried to concentrate on Beomgyu again, just the way she had done it before, but as she observed him, she noticed how he had turned his back to her and that his head hung low.
Beomgyu took a deep breath, opened and closed his hands and then hesitantly reached for their tea cups they had left on the dresser.

When he turned around, he directly looked into Herin's concentrated face.
„Is everything okay?" She asked, her hand laying on her own chest to make sure her heart wouldn't start racing again.
Beomgyu lifted his eyebrows at her question.

„Shouldn't I be the one asking that question?"
He gave her a soft smile, trying to hide the way he needed to concentrate himself, to suppress his shaky hands.
He couldn't let her know about it, if he didn't even knew, if she was okay.

„I don't know." She said, pushing her damp hair behind her ear.
„You just looked a bit out of place for a moment."
„I'm good." Beomgyu walked back to Herin, handed her the tea and but his onto the table.
„And how are you feeling?"
He tried pushing the attention away from him and scanned her with worried eyes.

Herin just shrugged with her shoulders and stood up from the couch.
If Beomgyu wasn't going to sit down again, she wouldn't be sitting either.
And because the feeling in her chest got worse again, she just needed to do something else than just sitting down and staring at the wall.

She lay her hand back onto her chest and slowly rubbed over it, her skin turning red.
„Don't worry too much. The weird tightness in your chest will disappear after some time. Just don't try to focus on it."
That was exactly what it felt like.
Tight, as if someone had laid cords around her heart and lungs and pulled on them.
Her fingers digged into the Tshirt as she just felt her heart banging against her chest again.

Herin swallowed, looked at Beomgyu who was still observing her and felt how the cords got even tighter.
Beomgyu noticed the small change in her gaze, as if she suddenly was wide awake again.
He took a step closer to her and lay his hand on hers, locking eyes again.
„I said:" Beomgyu clamped his hand around hers. „Don't concentrate on it."
He slowly opened up her fist.
Finger for finger until her hand lay flat on her chest.

Herin took in a deep breath.
„And how do I do that? How do I ignore it?"
Beomgyu bit his inner lip, remembering what he had done when he felt it coming.
It had been years since he had to actively fight against his panic attacks and now he could suppress them.
At least most of the time.

„A calm and even breathing is a good start."
He encouraged her.
„But distractions is always good, if you don't want to concentrate on something specific." He took his hand off of hers and she immediately felt how he took his warmth with him.

„What should we do?" Beomgyu asked, before turning around to hide the shaking again.
Then he grabbed his tea and took the last big sip out of it.
Herin looked around the room.
Was there something she could do or she would like to do right now?
She was tired so she just wanted to go to bed, but she knew that wouldn't help her.

„A movie?" Beomgyu asked when he saw her lost in her thoughts.
„Or maybe just some music?"
„Movie sounds good." She lightly smiled at him and Beomgyu nodded.
He disappeared in his bedroom for a second, came back with his laptop and placed it onto the table in front of them.