Full Throttle

the news

My hand is starting to cramp as I turn the page over the page on my essay during my end-of-year exam. The hall is silent, the only thing I can hear is the clock ticking and the boy next to me sniffling. The sound of the large wooden door opening breaks the deafening silence. My head of year steps through the door with a concerned look on his face with a hint of dread. He quickly walks to the exam coordinator and whispers something in her ear while they both make eye-contact with me. 

While they stare at me the blaring sound comes over the exam hall speakers indicating to us that the exam is now over. I should feel relieved, it is the last exam I have to do this year and it's now over, but for some reason all I can feel is worry creeping up from inside of me. 

"Lena I just need to have a chat with you can you follow me to my office?" my head of year quietly says to me while his deep blue eyes hint at me that this isn't just a friendly chat.

I follow my teacher out of the hall and across the yard while the hot Australian sun blares down on my face. Once I am seated in a rather disgusting old looking chair my head of year starts by saying to me, "this isn't easy to tell you and I am so sorry you have to go through this but I have just received news that your father has passed away in a car crash." 

Those nine words pierce me through the heart and my eyes immediately fill with tears. "What! When?" I say trying to disguise the pain in my voice. "The lady at the hospital said he passed an hour ago. They did everything they could." 

I don't reply to him because I can't think of words to say. He tells me that he will leave me for a moment and when I'm ready there is two police officers waiting outside who need to talk to me. 

I sit in his office and let the news sink in. My dad is dead. Even there are people in the room next to me, for the first time ever I feel completely and entirely alone. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. It feels like the walls are caving in. I am now an orphan. 

20 minutes later I am sitting next to two officers who are asking me if my dad was ever suicidal. It seems like the oddest question. He was the happiest person I knew and that question wouldn't have ever crossed my mind. 

"It seems like the crash wasn't an accident and we found this note in the glove box of his car." I grab the note from the nice lady officer and run my hands over writing that I recognise as my dad's.

~

Dear my Le Le,

If you are reading this I am gone. I am so sorry I had to leave you but I hope that you understand that I just couldn't bear to live anymore without your mother by my side. You are so strong my love and I will always look over you. Keep chasing after your dreams and never give up sweet girl.

I love you endlessly.

-Dad

~

All of the sudden everything makes sense. Why my dad was always coming home late very drunk and why it seemed like he had lost joy in everything. Including his job, as a mechanic. My heart breaks as a feeling of regret  and guilt settles deep inside of me. I should have noticed he wasn't doing good. I should have been able to cheer him up. It's my fault he's dead. Was I not enough for him? Why did he choose my mother over me?

I am snapped out of my thoughts when the other not so nice officer tells me that we have to go get my stuff from my house. 

"What do you mean I have to get my stuff?" I ask the officer

"Didn't you tell her?" The lady officer asks the rude male officer. "Sweetie your going to Monaco to go live with your dad's best friend."

"My dad didn't have a best friend?"

"How did you not know your dad was best friends with Daniel Ricciardo?" 

"Daniel Ricciardo?!" I exclaim. He is my favourite formula one driver and I had no idea for 15 years that my dad was best friends with the Daniel Ricciardo. Why did my dad keep this from me?

~:~:~

I step into my house and start to gather up my stuff. As I enter the kitchen to get my favourite spoon I see the male officer holding the lego car I built from scratch.

"Hey put that down!" I yell at him.

"Gee sorry" he replies as he places the car back onto the coffee table. 

I built that car with the help of my dad. He helped me with all of the technical bits of the pistons and steering so it could actually work. I smile at the memory before reality catches up to me once again and it sinks in, for the first time, that I wont ever get to make any more memories with my dad. 

Once I packed all of my formula one hats into my suitcase the nice officers asks "are you ready to go to the airport?" I reply with a nod before lifting my suitcase into the back of their car.

As we start to pull out of the drive way I yell "wait stop I forgot something!"

"For fucks sake" I hear the male officer mumble under his breath as I rip my seatbelt and run through my front door for the last time and enter the garage before exiting with a black bag.

"What was so important that you almost made me crash?" the officer asks me.

"My karting helmet" I state with a small smile on my face. 

~:~:~

Once we make it to the airport the nice officer helps me check in my suitcase and tries to take my helmet from me.

"No this is coming on the plane with me"

"Are you sure sweetie, you will have to hold it for the whole flight."

"Yes I'm sure, I don't want this getting damaged."

We walk to gate number 3 which seems ironic because thats danny's racing number. 5 minutes later people around us start boarding the plane to monaco and I say my goodbyes and thanks to the officers before slotting my self behind the last person in line.

When I'm sitting down in my seat I stare out the window at the dark sky. I can see the lights from the city and I think about all of the people that are there that probably had a better day than me. I long to be like any other person in that city than me right now. I can now see the runway lights as the plane pulls around ready to take off. They look so pretty. I close my eyes as the plane starts to speed up and I finally realise that I am going to live with Daniel Ricciardo. A small flutter of hope sparks in my stomach as I call to mind that I get to meet my favourite formula one driver and that I might even get to go to my first grand prix with him!

The plane takes off and I get one last look at my home town as I whisper to my self, "here we go."

Authors notes:

Hey guys! This is my first ever book I am writing and I would love and appreciate any feedback and ideas that you guys would like to read. Through this book I might add in things like e.d's and sh but I will put a tw at the beginning of each chapter. I can't wait to keep writing this book and I hope you all enjoy!