Forbidden Flames

Chapter Sixty Four

The morning sun streamed through the window, illuminating the room with a warm, golden light. But despite the brightness, a heaviness lingered in the air, pressing down on my chest like a weight. I watched August standing by the window, his back to me, shoulders hunched. He hadn't slept. Neither had I. The events of the past few days had unraveled us both, each moment bringing a fresh wave of grief.

"August?" I said softly, breaking the silence that had stretched between us. "How are you feeling?"

He didn't turn around, his gaze fixed on something beyond the window. "I don't know," he whispered, his voice so low I had to strain to hear him. "Everything's changed, Lilith. I don't know what to do anymore."

I moved to stand beside him, my heart aching at the pain in his voice. "We'll get through this," I said, reaching for his hand. "Together."

He nodded, but his eyes were distant, as if he were somewhere far away. "I've been thinking," he began, still staring out the window, "about taking my mother back home. To our estate. I think she needs to get away from here... from all the reminders."

I nodded, understanding the reasoning behind his words. "That makes sense," I said quietly. "She needs time to grieve. And you both need space to heal."

He sighed, a sound filled with exhaustion and sadness. "I don't know if I can stay here, Lilith. Everywhere I look, I see him. I hear his voice. I... I don't know if I can bear it."

A chill ran down my spine at his words. "You mean... you're not coming back?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, but it trembled nonetheless.

August finally turned to look at me, his eyes clouded with sorrow. "I don't know," he admitted. "Part of me thinks... if I stay away, maybe it won't hurt so much. Maybe I can forget."

I pulled my hand back, a wave of hurt crashing over me. "Forget?" I echoed, my voice shaking. "August, what about us? What about everything we've been through together? I thought you wanted to be with me."

He took a step toward me, his face etched with pain. "I do want to be with you, Lilith. More than anything. But I feel like I'm drowning in this place. I can't breathe. I just... I need to get away."

I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them back. "You think leaving will make it better? You think running away will take the pain away?" My voice rose, tinged with anger and desperation. "You're not the only one hurting, August! I've been by your side through everything. I love you! How can you even think about leaving me behind?"

His face crumpled, and he reached for me, pulling me into his arms. "Lilith, I'm not trying to leave you behind. I'm just trying to find a way to survive this."

I pushed against his chest, my hands trembling. "You deal with it by letting the people who love you help you through it. You don't push them away. If you leave... if you leave, I don't know what that means for us."

August held me tighter, his voice breaking. "I'm scared, Lilith. I'm so scared."

Tears slipped down my cheeks, my heart breaking at the sound of his fear. "I'm scared too," I whispered. "But we have to face it together. Please, August. Don't shut me out. Don't leave me. I need you."

He pressed his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my skin. "I need you too," he murmured. "I'll come back. I promise. I just need some time to figure things out."

Relief washed over me, mingling with the lingering fear. "That's all I ask," I said softly, my voice barely more than a whisper. "Just don't give up on us. We can get through this."

His eyes closed as if he were trying to hold onto my words. We stood there for a long moment, wrapped in each other's arms, the silence around us filled with unspoken promises and shared pain.

Finally, I pulled back slightly, looking up into his eyes. "Will you come to dinner tonight? With my parents?" I asked. "I want them to meet you, to see... to see that you're the one."

August hesitated, a shadow passing over his face. "I don't know if I'm ready for that," he said. "I don't know if I can put on a brave face right now."

I reached up, cupping his cheek in my hand. "You don't have to be brave, August. You just have to be yourself. My parents need to see that I love you, that I've always loved you. I need them to understand that."

He gazed into my eyes, his grief and love reflecting back at me. "I...," he began, his voice faltering. "I can't right now, Lilith."

His words hit me like a blow, sending a chill through the space between us. His gaze, once filled with the promise of a future together, seemed distant, as if he were looking right through me. I stepped closer, desperate to reach him, to break through the invisible walls he was erecting around himself.

"August, please," I whispered, my voice trembling. "You don't have to do this alone. I can cancel the dinner if that's what you want."

He turned away, his jaw clenching, his cheek twitching with the effort to hold back his emotions. "It's not about the dinner, Lilith," he said quietly, bitterness lacing his voice. "I just don't know if staying here will help. Everything is... shattered."

Tears welled up in my eyes, the sting almost too much to bear. "But we can piece it back together, August. You and me. We can—"

"No." His voice was firm, final, slicing through my words like a knife. He finally turned to face me, but his eyes held a look I didn't recognize. "I need... to be whole before we tell anyone about us. I need time to think. To breathe. I'm afraid for you."

His words knocked the air out of my lungs. I stumbled back, wrapping my arms around myself as if to protect my heart from breaking. "You're pushing me away," I said, my voice cracking. "Why?"

"Because I'm afraid of losing you. I don't want you to see me broken, Lilith. You deserve better. You deserve... someone whole."

A sob escaped my throat. "But I love you, August. All of you. Even the broken pieces. And I'm not going anywhere."

He looked away, his eyes clouded with an emotion I couldn't quite name. For a moment, I thought I saw a tear glisten in his eye, but he quickly turned his head, hiding it from me.

"Please don't do this," I begged, my voice small and desperate. "Don't leave me."

August shook his head, his face hardening with resolve. "I'm not leaving you, Lilith... I just need time to make sure you being with me is safe," he said, the finality in his voice like a death sentence.

Without another word, he walked past me, the sound of his footsteps echoing in the empty room. I stood there, frozen, as the door clicked shut behind him, the silence that followed more deafening than any scream.

I sank to my knees, tears streaming down my face, my heart shattering into a million pieces.