Jinshi and Maomao Short Stories Collection

A tiny bit of comfort

Summary:
Looking for every possible trace that could lead to the kidnapped Maomao, Jinshi was starting to go insane with worry. But he didn't suspect that there was someone who noticed it as well… a very unexpected someone…
[What-if story]
[Contains spoilers for those who know nothing but the anime!]
[Manga: Chapter 73
LN: Vol. 4, Chapter 10]

One of my readers on ao3 requested me at the beginning of the year to write a story depicting Jinshi's struggles while Maomao is kidnapped. And the inspiration finally came to me! To such a point that I even got an idea for a second drabble for that request. I will write it after this one! :)

Looking quite helpless and almost lost, Jinshi was standing in the Jade Pavilion together with Gaoshun in silence and watching Consort Gyokuyou's ladies-in-waiting gather around their mistress. The women were trying their best to decipher the writing on the scrap of paper Maomao had left behind as a hint.

Since the young lord knew that he wouldn't be of much help to them, he had decided not to bother them and be quiet.

His heart was pounding wildly, almost as if it intended to jump out of his chest. That small paper was the only clue they had right now. Maomao's fate depended on it!

Jinshi clenched his teeth and briefly directed his gaze to the ground, attentively listening to their voices, to every word that was said. His hands, that were tucked into his wide sleeves, were trembling slightly, while his body was being buried under an avalanche of bitter desperation and painful hopelessness. An avalanche he couldn’t escape.

An incredibly terrible, almost paralyzing thought spread through his mind. What... what if they didn't manage to understand Maomao's hint, despite all their efforts? What should they do then? Giving up was obviously completely unthinkable and out of the question, but...

Jinshi didn't know. He absolutely didn't know. And that fact was nearly driving him insane.

His stomach constricted painfully as he tried to swallow down the panic that wished to take possession of him once more. More than anything else, he wanted to head out that very minute and personally search every corner of the capital for the apothecary. No, not only of the capital. The whole nation. No, the entire world. Day and night. Without any rest until he would find her. But unfortunately, he couldn't.

And even if he did, that method would probably take years. And who knew in which situation Maomao was right now...

"Where are you, apothecary?" he thought desperately. "Please be alright. I beg you... please be alright!"

The young noble felt a burning in his eyes and exhaled sharply. That had been close! His eunuch mask had almost slid from his face just now. Again. He had managed to come to his senses and prevent its fall at the last moment, but it had become impossible for him to properly hold it in place. No matter how much he tried, it just kept sliding and sliding.

Because his worry and fear for Maomao were just too big, too overwhelming. Like a thick iron chain that was tying itself around his throat and chest, making it hard for him to breathe. One that was taking hold of his wrists, stopping him from keeping that mask with the honeyed, artificial smile on his face.

That iron chain was already familiar to Jinshi, for it wasn't the first time he was going through something like that. No. He had already experienced it when Maomao had passed out in his arms after the incident during the ritual, bleeding and with half of her face swollen.

That day, he had understood what real fear was and how true helplessness felt like.

Gotten to know the uncertainty that was the worst torture in the universe.