Publicity

5 - The Sound of Silence

"Are you nearly done with that?"

I look up from the empty piece of paper, the lack of ink representing my feelings towards Brian in the most accidental yet ironic way. I have absolutely nothing to say to him, whether it's positive or negative.

I don't start fights, yet it could be perceived that way by others from the way I choose to defend myself. From the outside, it looks like I hate him just as much as he hates me, but I truly have nothing against him. I have no reason to bicker, other than the fact that he seems to despise my existence for reasons unknown to me, or to anyone.

Well, I assume to anyone, but maybe it would be a good idea to talk to Finn or Banks about the situation. If they know more about why he treats me the way he does, maybe I can unlock the key to working things out between us.

"Not yet." I sigh and sink back in my chair, covering my face with my idle hands. "I just... I'm not sorry. I can't lie."

I remove my hands and stare at Alicia, meeting her eyes with desperation. I want her to give me advice, but what can she say that I don't already know?

"He was in a library! You don't talk loudly on the phone in a library. He was in the wrong, so why am I the one to apologize?!"

"Because you're the bigger person, and they can probably see that. He would be less willing to apologize, and in order to move on, somebody needs to make the first move. I'd be happy that they chose you to do it, if I were you. They know they can count on you. They respect you."

Her words lift a weight off my chest, and I straighten myself up. I didn't think about it that way before, but I guess she's right. Brian would never apologize to me first, so it really is up to me. It's either that, or I can leave the band myself. Those are my options.

"If you want a distraction..." Alicia's signature smirk starts to grow on her face, and I can tell that she's about to suggest something she thinks I'll disapprove of. "I got invited to a party!"

She squeals in excitement, gently slapping the table before she hushes herself and glances around the room.
"You need to take your mind off of all this, and have some fun!"

I look at her with indifference at first, but I can't stop the grin that stretches my lips as I observe her excitement. I'm actually more inclined to attend social events like this now, at least compared to the last few years. I guess I feel that now I've secured both my YouTube following, and a place in the band, I don't have to work as hard to get to where I want to be.

I'm incredibly lucky to have gotten to this point though, so I'm going to at least make sure I don't take it for granted.

"Okay, let's do it." I smile, and she takes my hands excitedly. Sometimes her own joy is enough for two people, it always reaches me no matter what mood I'm in beforehand.

"I've heard it's going to be a big one, everyone will be there."

"Whose party is it?" I ask.

"I don't know, some guy in our grade."

I start to wonder how she got the invite, but Alicia knows a lot of people, so I'm not really that surprised. Party invites spread like wildfire here.

"Okay, well look..." My gaze shoots back down to the empty letter on the table. "I have to finish writing an apology and rehearsing it a million times, ideally before the end of the day."

"Why do you have to write it down first? Wouldn't it make more sense to just wing it when you get there?"

"I want to be prepared," I explain. "What if I stumble over my words, or I can't think of anything to say? Our success basically depends on what I choose to say!"