One week before my suicide (In progress)

The depresion

Everyone knows how this book will end. I asked that the cover bear the title "A Week Before My Suicide." Other titles crossed my mind, but this one seemed most fitting. I wanted to dedicate my last week to telling this story of heartbreak, this divorce of mine from life.

What no one knows is how it all started. People often think that the decision to take one's life is cowardice or selfishness, but no one returns from death to explain what really happens. I can tell what happened a week before and I will start by pleading never to leave a child alone, always be there to protect them.

My depression did not come alone. It brought with it a party of nightmares that I was never able to control, which drove me away from everything I loved.

My mother works nights, I have some siblings not worth mentioning, and my father is a father who is present in the home but emotionally vanished years ago. In his honor, the smoke from my cigarette rises to the sky. If he saw me, perhaps he would understand how fucked up I feel these days, how much I missed him and needed him until I no longer cared.

My cat, Shoulder, watches me from the roof. His silver eyes frighten me at night. And here I am, locked in my room, crying over nothing, fighting against this damn depression that tightens my chest and leaves me breathless.

If you want to help someone, don't look for quick solutions on YouTube videos or Google pages. Better get to know your loved ones, observe what makes them happy, value the small details, and never underestimate a small achievement. If this writing can save one life, or even just give you a little strength in the midst of these days you might be going through in your life, then I won't mind having lost mine.