A War Within

Chapter 12: Confessions in the Dark

The night was still and quiet, the only light in the farmhouse coming from the dying embers of the fire. The warmth that had once filled the room was slowly dissipating, leaving behind a lingering chill that seeped into the bones. Lukas had already drifted off to sleep, his breathing steady and deep, while Mikhail lay awake, staring at the dark ceiling above him.

His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, emotions he could barely keep in check. The day had been long and harrowing, and the fear that had gripped him earlier still clung to him like a second skin. But it wasn't just the fear of being hunted or the danger that lay ahead. It was something more, something that had been growing inside him since the day he and Lukas had crossed paths.

Mikhail sat up slowly, careful not to disturb Lukas, and reached for his journal. The worn pages had been his only solace throughout the war, a place where he could confide his darkest thoughts and fears. But tonight, as he opened the journal to a fresh page, he knew this entry would be different. This time, he wasn't just writing to ease his mind—he was confessing the one thing he hadn't dared to say out loud.

He lit a small candle, just enough to see by, and took a deep breath before putting pencil to paper.

December 1942

My dearest Lukas,
I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to tell you this in person, but I have to write it down, if only to make sense of the feelings that are tearing me apart. I never thought I could feel this way, not here, not now. But I do. You've become more than just a companion to me, more than just someone I'm trying to survive this war with. You've become everything.

I'm terrified, Lukas. Not just of the war, or of dying, but of losing you. The thought of something happening to you... it's more than I can bear. I find myself looking at you when you're not watching, wondering if you feel even a fraction of what I'm feeling. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. You're in my thoughts every moment of the day, and the only time I feel at peace is when you're beside me.

I don't know what the future holds for us. I don't even know if we'll make it through tomorrow. But I need you to know that whatever happens, you've changed me. You've given me something to fight for, something to live for. And if I don't make it... if something happens to me... I want you to know that I loved you. I love you, Lukas. And I always will.

Mikhail's hand shook as he finished the entry, the words on the page blurring before his eyes. He closed the journal gently, feeling a mix of relief and fear. He had finally confessed the feelings he'd been holding inside for so long, but what would come of it? Would Lukas ever read these words, or would they remain a secret, buried in the pages of a journal?

He extinguished the candle and sat in the darkness for a moment, the silence of the farmhouse pressing in around him. The creak of old wood echoed faintly in the room, a reminder of just how fragile their refuge was. Mikhail glanced over at Lukas, who was still fast asleep, unaware of the turmoil raging inside him.

But then, a new sound caught Mikhail's attention—a low, ominous groan, like the earth shifting beneath them. He tensed, listening closely. The noise came again, louder this time, followed by a series of sharp cracks. Mikhail's heart skipped a beat as he realized what was happening.

The farmhouse was giving way.

"Lukas!" Mikhail shouted, scrambling to his feet as the walls around them began to creak and splinter. Lukas woke with a start, disoriented and alarmed by the sudden chaos.

"What's happening?" Lukas yelled, but there was no time to explain. The structure was collapsing around them, the weight of the snow on the roof too much for the old, weakened beams to bear.

"Get out, now!" Mikhail cried, grabbing Lukas's arm and pulling him toward the door. But before they could reach it, the roof gave way with a deafening crash. Debris rained down on them, blocking their path and plunging the room into darkness.

Mikhail felt a sharp pain as something heavy struck his shoulder, knocking him to the ground. The air was filled with dust and the sound of wood splintering and breaking. He heard Lukas shout something, but his voice was drowned out by the noise of the collapse.

When the dust finally settled, Mikhail found himself trapped under a pile of debris, his body aching from the impact. He could barely move, the weight of the rubble pressing down on him from all sides. Panic surged through him as he realized they were trapped, buried alive in the wreckage of the farmhouse.

"Lukas!" Mikhail called out, his voice hoarse and desperate. He could hear Lukas coughing somewhere nearby, struggling to free himself from the debris.

"I'm here!" Lukas's voice came, strained but alive. "Are you okay?"

"I'm trapped," Mikhail replied, his breath coming in short, painful gasps. "I can't move."

"Hold on," Lukas said, his voice resolute despite the situation. "I'll get us out of here."

Mikhail closed his eyes, trying to block out the fear that threatened to overwhelm him. They were in a dire situation, but Lukas was with him. Somehow, they would find a way out—together.