I am special.
That's what I always thought of myself since i am raised by a very rich family. I can have everything i want and i dont really work hard to get anything. I dont have parents anymore though. They died when i was young. No one ever bothered to explain it to me. Even I, myself. I guess its because of the thought that we can be together forever since we are sealed in the temple. Oh, Im a Mormon ,by the way, and specifically, a returned missionary. Its our responsibility as men to go and serve God. I thought it would really change me, or everything around me. But I guess, God has better plans.
Everything changed when I saw her.
It was raining. She was standing in the center of the temple garden surrounded by beautiful flowers. She was wearing a white lacy dress, her long brown wavy hair makes her more feminine. She was just looking at the gray sky, letting every drop of tear from it caress her skin. I thought it was weird, but when i started to look at her face, it was when i realized, that she was crying.
I went close to her to check if i was wrong, as i come closer i figured out that shes holding her umbrella but is not using it at all. I thought of sharing my umbrella with her, and i know that she might be cold to death, so as the distance lessened i used my umbrella to protect her from the rain.
She then looked at me with innocence, her brown eyes were so sad and hollow. Her lips are perfect, no, her face, her innocent face is beyond beauty.
"Oh. Im sorry if i disturbed you." She said. Her voice is soft that i could figure out that she can sing well. "Not really, well, it actually bothers me why youre here getting yourself wet when you have your umbrella with you. You love the rain that much huh?" "I really do." She smiled. "It brings back a lot of memories." She was just smiling but i couldnt understand why her eyes looked so hollow to me. It felt like she was going through some trial of faith or something. "Do you want to share some tears of yours to a stranger? Well im a pretty good adviser." She laughed. "I can really handle it myself. Thank you for your kindness." She was looking at me with gentleness on her face. Im a very busy person but i couldnt also figure out why i feel the need to stay with her. Why am i feeling all these things?! "My parents died when i was young. No one ever bothered to explain to me what happened." I bluntly said, it was like im finding a way to make the conversation longer, but did i just share one of my deepest secrets? Ugh this girl is something. "Im sorry to hear that. But dont worry, God always provides answers in the right time. You just have to open your eyes and listen carefully." "I know that." I said, "well like you, i know what i should do but i guess im just waiting for someone to say those things to me personally so at least im sure that what im doing is the right thing." Ive always knew what to do, but couldnt understand a lot of things. "Thats true" she smiled again. "You know what, i guess the worst sin ive made so far is to disobey or feel negatively bad about my parents." She looked down. "Im sorry to hear that." I smiled at her. I wanted this kind of conversation. "And ive always felt like the most unfortunate human being in the world. Im not as intelligent as you are mister." Without hesitation i laughed hard. I am really born not only of really good appearance, well i couldnt deny that because its very true, im also gifted with intelligence. Im a really lucky man i believe. "Stop laughing, you dont know how bad it is to look down on yourself, i can clearly tell that youre a successful person, we're in two different worlds." She said while looking at me, still smiling. "Thank you for that compliments. Well you might not realize but every person has something good and unique in them. Open your eyes and listen carefully." I said with a grin. We laughed as if our burdens are simple and can be solved using an algebra formula. "I have a boyfriend" she then said. I laughed hard again and said, "as if im hitting on you." She was smiling like she knew it was just plain conversation, "i know." She said. "Can i share to you something about him since you look like someone who wont care a lil bit at all?" That really struck me like a sword pierced in my heart but i replied and said yes in the most sincere way possible. "We love the rain very much. We shared a lot of memories with it. It was like a movie. The scene was very romantic." Normally a girl would get excited and happy to share those type of stories but why isnt she smiling at all? "You kissed in the rain?" I was smiling. "Yeah. I really do love him." She said those words with her soft voice and innocent face, which did hurt my heart a little bit. Huh? Why do i feel like this? "So what happened?" I asked, trying to erase these thoughts in my head. "He never send a letter to me since september. He served on a mission last june. I dont know anything about him." What? Its like april now! Seven months without any contact? Wow thats harsh. "But i know he loves me dearly. And i perfectly understand why he cant have time for me, he's helping a lot of people, a lot of families to be together for eternity. I know him very well and i believe him. When he comes back i can spend my eternity with him. So i will wait forever for him." That was the first time i saw a girl as determined as she is, she knew the consequences having a boyfriend serving on a mission, she understood what it means to love with faith and loyalty. I cant believe theres a girl like her who actually exists. "Youll never know what will happen in the future." I said, trying to contradict to her, because these days relationships like that dont really last. She doesnt deserve to wait for nothing. "Im not gonna regret anything. If he's not the one meant for me then i'll accept it. Waiting for him is my choice and it would be bad if i dont fight for the love i think i deserve. We started dating before he left. We fell in love with each other even knowing he's going to serve the Lord. I know theres a reason why it only happened now. It couldve happened years later but why now? And i know im gonna know the answer when he comes back." She is in love. I wondered how it could possibly happen, and how love can really make people feel that way, and look positively at it. I personally wished that i have someone to lean on like her. She's special.
The rain stopped.
"Your boyfriend is very blessed to have you." I smiled. "Thank you for listening to me. You made me completely comforted. You might be one of God's instruments to make me feel positive and loved. May you continually bless other people with your kindness. I do wish we'll meet again someday." She smiled and thanked me again. She bid goodbye. My heart was beating fast and i know myself that i dont want her to go. I want to share everything with her. I couldnt understand these feelings again but i dont hate it. She was beginning to get far away from me and im still puzzled by my emotions. And for no absolute reason i shouted and said, "wait!" She stopped and looked at me. "Did i forget something?" She asked. "No,no.." My heart was beating really fast. She was staring at me with a puzzled face. "Dont go." I said it at last. And for the first time in my life, i was scared for a woman's response. "Thats not possible. I do want to talk to you but im leaving the country tomorrow. A girl needs a rest too." "What?!" I said with a loud voice, totally shocked with what she just told me. I couldnt believe this is happening. I could feel my heart hurting but didnt mind it. "Why?" She smiled and said, "im gonna continue my studies in a university in europe. I'll be back after three years." "How about your boyfriend? He's gonna come back next year right?" I was finding a way to make her stay. "I know, but im sure he'll be waiting for me." She assured. How come this girl has a lot of faith in his boyfriend? Their story makes it more complicated and impossible now! I feel bad for her. But my heart is still feeling this tiny bit of pain. And why do i want her to stay? "I'll wait for you then." I was trying to figure out if it was me who just made her shocked, and did i just really said those words? Oh for the love of mother and child what am i saying? "You dont have to wait for me idiot!" She smiled as if i deserve to be called like that. "Youre not one the who can decide for what i want to do. For sure i wont regret it." Insisting these unknown persistent feelings. She then came closer to me and said, "i have a boyfriend,im waiting for him, go find someone you can wait for legally!" She shouted. I just smiled. "Its not illegal to wait for you dummy. Dont worry im not gonna continue pursuing you once i made sure that you are very happy with your prince charming when you finally see each other." "Of course i'll be happy!" She said without hesitation. "Dont waste your three years waiting for me you butthead!" Wow well thats another one, but i feel amused with our farewell. "Let me show to you what im capable of. I really want to see you after three years. And when i see you, i promise im gonna hug you tight, just in case you still feel the same way, like right now." Her cheeks went red. "And as a matter of fact youll be bringing this back to me." I handed her my shirt that she can use to change, thank God i have a spare of shirt! I can really use this to meet her. "Thanks but.." I interrupted her, "no but's. after three years, same day, we'll meet here and you need to bring me back my favorite shirt." I was trying my best to command her to do it. "Why are you doing this?" She asked. "You dont mean its love at first sight right? But is that your way of confession?" I stared at her eyes for a moment and she looked very embarrassed, i started to laugh again, trying to make her feel that she got it all wrong. "Im doing this because of an experiment not because i fell in love with you you thick-face. This isnt sort of your fairy tale." I was a lil bit shy but as long as i couldnt make it look like shes right, then its fine. "Im interested in your love story. So do your best and impress me after three years." I continued. Her face was red. "Fine. And im not gonna disappoint you." She said goodbye and ran. I called her again. "What is it this time?" She shouted. "Im ethan." I said with a smile. She smiled too, ran away and shouted, "yeuna!"
Now she's gone. But not literally gone forever. I guess i have faith that we'll really meet again. Somehow i was hopeful. For the first time in my life, i really did feel a need to refine myself and be a better a man. One thing i really believed, is that God will always provide you someone you deserve. And like her with her boyfriend, i know this isnt just any coincidence. God has plans. Am im gonna figure those things out when she comes back.
