Toy Boy | Chanlix

Boy's

The morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting long, thin shadows across Chan's room. He sat at the edge of his bed, his phone clutched in his hand, eyes fixed on the last message he had received from Felix the night before. It wasn't the first time Felix had poured out his turmoil in a text, but something about this time felt different. It felt final, as though something had shifted irreparably between them.

Chan knew what he had to do, even if it felt like he was tearing a piece of himself away in the process. He had spent the night thinking about it, replaying every moment with Felix in his mind—every kiss, every touch, every fleeting look. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that they were heading down a path that would destroy them both. Chan needed to put an end to it, for both of their sakes.

He dressed quickly, throwing on a hoodie and jeans, and made his way out the door, determined to get this over with before he lost his nerve. His stomach churned with a mixture of dread and resolve as he walked to the café where he had agreed to meet Felix. The streets were busy, people going about their lives, unaware of the turmoil raging inside him.

When Chan arrived at the café, he spotted Felix immediately, sitting at a corner table with a cup of coffee in front of him. Felix looked up as Chan approached, his eyes tired but hopeful, as if he was clinging to the possibility that Chan might offer some sort of comfort or reassurance.

Chan took a deep breath and sat down across from Felix, forcing himself to meet those expectant eyes. "Felix, we need to talk."

Felix nodded slowly, his fingers nervously tracing the rim of his coffee cup. "I know," he said quietly. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said last night... about figuring out what we really want."

Chan's heart ached at the vulnerability in Felix's voice, but he knew he couldn't afford to let his emotions get the better of him. "Felix," he began, his voice steady but soft, "I've been thinking too. And I've realized that I can't keep doing this. I can't keep trying to pull you out of the life you're in when you're not ready to leave it behind."

Felix's eyes widened, a flash of panic crossing his features. "What are you saying, Chan?"

"I'm saying that I can't be a part of your world, Felix," Chan said, his voice firm but not unkind. "The club, the clients... it's not who I am, and it's not something I want to be involved with. I care about you, I really do, but I can't keep pretending that I'm okay with all of this when I'm not."

Felix's face paled, his hands clenching into fists on the table. "But Chan, I don't want to be in that world either! I'm just... I'm stuck. I don't know how to get out."

Chan swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing himself to remain strong. "I know, Felix. And I wish I could help you more, but I can't do it at the cost of my own sanity. I need to step back. I need to focus on my own life, my own future. And that means... that means I can't be with you anymore."

Felix's eyes filled with tears, his voice trembling as he spoke. "You don't mean that, Chan. I know you don't."

Chan closed his eyes, fighting back the overwhelming urge to reach across the table and pull Felix into his arms, to tell him that everything would be okay. But he couldn't. He had to stay strong, for both of their sakes. "I do mean it, Felix. I'm sorry, but this is what's best for both of us."

Felix stared at him, his tears spilling over as he shook his head in disbelief. "You're just going to walk away? After everything we've been through?"

Chan's heart shattered at the pain in Felix's voice, but he forced himself to stay resolute. "It's better this way. For both of us."