Seducing Serenity

Chapter 5

Serenity

Lena helped me shop and find clothes for my new job. It was nice to pick out professional clothes again, and Lena wouldn't let me pick the frumpy outfits Devin had always insisted I wear. She had me feeling confident and even sexy with the options she picked. I felt like I was finally making a fresh start. I was shaking off the scared, abused, and angry Serenity and getting back to who I'd been before. I suppose I'd never be the same as I was. The last eight years had taken a toll on my confidence and certainly in my belief of happily ever after. I didn't want to be anyone's property again, and I wasn't going to let anyone capture my heart. It was too dangerous. I tried to explain to Lena what I felt during my interview with Mr. Kingston, but it was hard to describe. She got the fact that he was good looking and that I was attracted to him, but I fell short of getting her to understand how my body responded to him.

"You're horny, and he's hot! I get it!" She said after I tried explaining it for the third time. Maybe she was right. Maybe I'd just built it up in my head and was overreacting. He was a good-looking man, and I'd been living like a nun for a really, really long time.

I'd just about convinced myself the reaction I'd had was no big deal and wasn't going to be a problem by the time Monday morning rolled around. I was getting dressed for my first day and suddenly all my confidence left me, and I was sure I was going to make a fool of myself in front of everyone. As I put on my grandmother's pearls, I tried to find strength in her memory. She'd given them to me about a month before she died and I still remember her saying, "Whenever you wear these, remember how strong and beautiful you are. No one can take that away from you."

We'd been so close, and I knew she hated Devin. She'd warned me about him before we even got married, but I had been blinded by what I thought was love. She'd resigned herself to the marriage and she was supportive of Devin until she could see that he was abusive. She barely tolerated him after that, and it was obvious to him how she felt. He tried to keep me from seeing her and she died before I came to my senses. I still regretted that.

The pearls felt smooth on my skin and made me feel a little calmer. The off white of the pearls accentuated the tan I'd managed to get since arriving in California. When I walked out to the kitchen, Lena saw me and gave me a whistle. "Looking good, bestie!"

I gave her a weak smile and took the cup of coffee she offered. "Thanks. I am so nervous!"

"You are gonna knock their socks off! Stop letting that asshat Devin in your head and remember how talented you are. Kingston wouldn't have hired you if your work hadn't impressed him. Unless of course he wants in your pants as bad as you want to get into his!"

I almost spit my coffee across the counter at her. "Bitch! Why would you say something like that? I'm barely going to be able to look him in the eyes as it is!" She knew me so well, though. It was all those years being belittled by Devin that had me feeling so inadequate.

She almost fell over laughing. "Because the look on your face was priceless!"

I had to laugh. She always seemed to know how to get me out of my funk. "Fine, you're right. I am not going to let him ruin one more day. I am talented, and I look good. I can do this!"

Lena smiled at me. "You are talented, smart, and beautiful. Now get out of here and knock 'em dead!" Lena was generally not sentimental, and we both had a hard time accepting compliments.

"Alright," I sighed, "I better get out of here before I'm late on my first day." As I reached the door, I turned back to her. "Thank you, Lena, for everything. I don't know what I would've done without you."

"Yeah, yeah." she said, "Just try not to jump your new boss on the first day."

I rolled my eyes and shut the door. I could hear her laughing as I walked away from the house and got into my car with a smile on my face.

The drive to work was only about twenty minutes and I tried to focus on feeling strong and confident, but I was honestly terrified. I always thought that when I was an adult, I'd have all the answers and know what I was doing. I wondered when that would happen. I also wondered if everyone else had it all together and I was the only one floundering. I shook my head and turned up the radio, singing loudly along with the collection of songs I had put together to listen to whenever I needed strength. La Roux's Bulletproof was just what I needed to hype me up.

I was singing along loudly when I stopped at a light. I happened to look over at the car next to me and froze. Gabriel Kingston was looking at me with a smile on his face that told me he had seen and heard my performance. I felt my face heat up and I knew it was probably a bright shade of red. The light changed and he gave me a salute as he drove off, the smile still on his face. I sat for a moment in shock until the car behind me honked loudly, making me jump.

As I started through the intersection, I couldn't tell whether the embarrassment was worse, or if it was the realization that I hadn't imagined the attraction I felt for him. I fought the urge to turn the car around and go beg Mr. Napoli for my job back.

"I can do this." I said out loud to myself. "I put on my big girl panties and my pearls today, and I can do this." I took a deep breath, parked the car, and got out to start the next chapter in my life.